Page 38 of Deranged
He reached out but I dodged his hand. “Do you really want that? Do you really want me to leave for good, never come back?”
“I want you to be happy and safe. Isn’t that enough?”
He stood and picked up the tray. “What about your happiness and safety. How can you think it doesn’t matter to me as much as mine does to you?”
I realized I’d made a mistake. He cared about me. I shouldn’t have let him think the moves I made were to protect him. Reading the people closest to me had always been my weakness.
“Come on. When I get out of here, I’m going to fuck my way across Germany. That is what I’m fighting for.”
I met his eyes now. “What are you fighting for, Doctor? The patient you had sex with. The scandal you’ll never be able to live down if it comes to light. When I get out of here, I don’t expect you to be waiting on the curb for me. Move on with your life, just like I will the second I gain my freedom.”
The pressure had started to build in my chest, forcing its way up my windpipe. If he didn’t leave soon, I’d start screaming and crying, and I didn’t want him to witness my break down.
“First, let me remind you, we slept together before you were my patient. And I’d accepted you were no longer my patient when we repeated it. Do you really want me to leave?” he asked again.
“For fuck’s sake, go away. I get it you had to fulfill your doctorly duties by getting me to eat. Lord knows Styx is a fearsome woman. Job done. Get the fuck out.”
He flinched away at my tone, and I refused to drop my eyes for fear the mask would crumble. “I’m still in my office until I get my new assignment. If you need me, then please ask a nurse to come find me.”
I grabbed the book I’d been reading off the stack and opened it. “Don’t worry. I won’t.”
I didn’t look at him as he walked out.
The second the latch clicked in the door, and when his footsteps echoed away, I threw the book in my hands across the room to hit the wall with a sickening thud at the spine.
Another book followed, and then another. And soon, the throwing wasn’t enough. I grasped the words that saw me through so many long days and ripped the paper in half. Soon a pile of ink and shreds sat in my lap and the pile of books had grown on the floor across from me.
And I couldn’t bring myself to care.
Chapter Sixteen
Ash
Getting to the hospital early felt like the best way to get to Kory before she tried to toss me out again. I knew our last conversation was an attempt at pushing me away. Her eyes begged me to stay even as her words cut me to my bones. I wished she’d trust me to help her in this. The entire situation felt a little like fighting against a river. There would be no winning for either of us if her pride dragged me into the current before I reached her.
The halls were empty when I made it to my office. I juggled my bag and my keys while I attempted to unlock the door. The key wouldn’t fit into the lock. I propped my bag against the wall to get an actual dominant hand grip on the keys, but they still wouldn’t slide into the lock.
I jiggled the handle but it was locked tight. With a sigh, I swiped my bag off the floor and headed to the nurse’s station. Of course, Minthe sat on the other side of the desk. Guilt flared bright hot through me at how I’d treated her the last time we spoke.
“Something is wrong with my key. I can’t get into my office.”
She didn’t meet my eyes. “I’m sorry, Doctor, but I’m supposed to call security if you try to report in today.”
“Security?”
She steadfastly cast her gaze around, anywhere but at my face. “Yes, they told me to call, but I’d rather not. If you leave, I can just pretend I didn’t see you here.”
I leaned back and scanned the halls. Then lowered my voice. “There is no one here. The patients are all still asleep. Tell me what’s going on, please.”
She finally looked up into my face. “Let me walk you to your car, and I’ll tell you what they told us when they did a security briefing last night.”
I stepped back from the desk. Kory lay asleep a few feet down the hall. All I wanted to do was go to her, climb in bed, wrap her in my arms, and pretend none of this ever happened. I waited for her to gather her jacket, keys, and ID before preceding me to the stairwell that would exit straight to the parking lot. She walked quickly, and I had to rush up to her side.
“What’s going on?”
She scanned her badge to let us out, and the flush purple light of dawn surrounded us as we walked. “All I know is that they said you were fired for misconduct, and that if you returned to the building, you were supposed to be reported to security.”
I stopped and put my hand on her arm to still her too. “I wasn’t told about any of this. Can they fire someone if that person doesn’t even know about it?” I threw in a smile for good measure, but she wasn’t having it.
