Page 37 of Deranged
“Like I told her, I’m not hungry.”
“What about now?”
The scent of the food was stirring up some nausea in my gut. “I don’t know.” I was being petulant. I knew it, but I couldn’t help it.
He shifted the tray to sit next to my hip and took the space closer, near my knees. “Let me help.” He scooped a bit of the oatmeal on a spoon and held it out to me.
“Are you really going to feed me like a baby?”
He shook his head. “It’s either me or Styx. I know she’s prettier than me, but she probably won’t be as gentle.”
I didn’t want to laugh at his joke, but I couldn’t stop the smile which bloomed unwittingly.
The spoon inched closer to my mouth, bringing with it the scent of butter and sugar. “Open up.”
Instead of fighting, I gave in and let him slide the metal between my lips. Okay, apparently, I was hungry after all. He offered another bite, and I took that one too.
“I went and saw a friend yesterday. An old fraternity brother of mine. He is trying to write a story on what your mother is doing to you here.”
Everything in me froze, including my mouth on a fresh spoonful of food. I swallowed and then swallowed again.
“Please tell me you didn’t give him the story. Tell me you didn’t do what you promised you wouldn’t?”
He held up the spoon, and I snatched it from his fingers. “No. Talk to me. Tell me what you did.”
He gently took the spoon from my hand, scooped up more oatmeal and held it out. “I’ll talk while you eat.”
I begrudgingly dragged my teeth over the steel and swallowed hard. “I’m eating.”
“What do you have planned now that I’m out of here? How can you get yourself free without my help?”
I swallowed another bite and gulped for air. “Excuse me?”
He dropped his arm. “I only mean to help you think of a way out while I can’t be in here helping you make it happen. I won’t stop trying to free you, but I need to know you’re fighting.”
He held up another scoop and I ate it. “I’ve been fighting my entire life. I’m tired of fighting. This life isn’t so bad, is it? I don’t have bills to pay. I get to sit and read all day, people bring me meals and hand feed me.”
He smirked. “This isn’t the life you want. I know that. Even if everything hadn’t happened between us, I can still see the longing for freedom in you. Not just to get out of here. You dream of adventure, exploration, wild open spaces. I want that for you.”
The words from his lips didn’t help my resignation. I took another mouth full of food and opted to say nothing to his statement.
“When will you understand you are worth helping? Even if it costs me everything. Even if it costs you everything. You shouldn’t sit by and let her imprison you.”
I pried the spoon gently from his fingers and set it on the tray. “I can’t do this. You have to go.”
He stared at me for a long moment until I had to look away for fear I might do something stupid like climb onto his lap and beg him to take me.
He gently grasped my chin and tilted my face back to his, searching out my eyes with his own. “I need you to promise me you won’t stop fighting. Promise you won’t give up.”
How could I give this man up? How could I force him to save himself before it was too late and my mother took his entire life, just like mine. I could lie if it meant he would leave and get far away from this mess of a world I lived in.
“Fine.” I shoved down the rest of the oatmeal in a big mouthful. “Happy. I’m fighting. Please leave before you get in trouble for being here.”
He took a piece of toast and held it out. Instead of letting him feed it to me, I grabbed it and nipped at the crust. “I don’t believe you. I’d like to think I’ve gotten to know you Kory, and I know you would lie in a heartbeat if you were trying to protect me. So I’ll ask again, promise me you won’t stop fighting your mother.”
I swallowed and put the cold toast back on the plate with its untouched brethren. “I would lie to protect you, but I’m only trying to make it through each day. Why can’t you understand, for me, fighting means I war with myself to survive until tomorrow. That is the fight I’m winning and plan to continue. When it comes to my mother, there is nothing either of us can do.”
He sat back on the bed, and I tracked the way he sucked his bottom lip between his teeth. Not the time to get turned on. I stared over his shoulder and whispered. “You should go now. I’ll be fine. Focus on your new job and putting some distance between yourself and this place.”
