Page 39 of Professional Liar
I nodded frantically and tried to move my hips to maneuver him where I wanted. Where I needed. But he held me still, taking his time.
Only when I let out a whimper did he give in and slowly start to press inside me.
“If you force it, I’ll pull out and start over.”
I slid one arm under his neck, and the other hand I anchored behind his bicep, my fair skin an interesting contradiction to his black ink. He continued his achingly slow and steady assault, and I dug my nails into his skin. “If this is making love, I think I want to go back to mindless fucking. Right now, I’ll take you slamming me against a wall over this torture.”
That earned me a nip on the nose with his teeth. “You say the sweetest things.” But he obliged and slid a little faster until he’d fully entered me. We could stare into each other’s eyes in this position, our legs and arms entwined.
And then the blanket was back, layered in emotion and sexual tension. “Kat,” he said.
I shook my head, seeing where this was headed.
I was scared.
I was terrified.
I wanted it more than anything.
“Kat,” he repeated.
I waited, my body pulsing around him, my heart beating frantically in my chest. My fingers even felt like they had a heartbeat of their own.
“Pierce,” I answered.
He cupped my cheek and looked deep into my eyes. “I love you.”
The words fluttered between us. So big and so tiny and so…perfect.
I should end this now, run away, and get out before I hurt him. Before I hurt him so much, he can’t get back. But I couldn’t. Him saying the words made it so much more real than simply knowing how he felt.
I knew I was supposed to say it back. The words stuck tight in my throat, and no matter what my heart said, it felt like a lie.
I loved him. As much as Bianca. More than anything else. But I couldn’t say it. Pulling the truth out into the open invited corruption and abuse and a way for him to break me. The only way I could still be broken.
“You don’t have to say it,” he said, after a long drawn out moment.
And I saw in his eyes it was true. I didn’t have to say the words. It wasn’t something he needed to hear, because he already knew.
I reached out and drug his face to mine. Kissing him with every word I couldn’t say and every word he deserved to hear.
He arched into me the second our lips met, and I latched my teeth into his bottom lip.
Our lovemaking switched from soft to fucking in a flash of a second. He rolled over and used his knees to press up into me. Fast and furious and so good. I could only hold on to him as he drove into me.
Mindless was a middle ground between where you belong and where you should be. I’d found myself there in his arms between his bed and our history. Between our past and pain. Between the present and the future we might build together. Like a thunderclap, I caved to his demands. Not just the ones he made with his body, but the ones he etched into my heart.
It took seconds for my orgasm to surge through me. Another second for his to follow. We smacked together, my stubbornness against the steel of his pride. He held himself inside me as he shuddered hard, his legs quaked, fingers dug into my skin, enough to make me want more. And we both exhaled heavily on the other side of the storm.
When he slipped out of me, I wondered if I’d get pregnant from this. The idea felt too big in my head, so I let it go and settled in the curve of his arm. My heartbeat slowly returning to normal, my skin dotted with sweat.
“I mean it. I love you, Kat,” he said it again.
Spoken soft and gently after sex, the words weighted less, and I smiled at the thought of this man, this incredible man, loving someone like me. A tear slipped from the corner of my eye, but I dashed it away. Hoping he didn’t see.
A monster.
A shrew.
Neither of us bothered to get up and flip off the light. And when he let out a loud snore, I whispered over the sound of my pounding heart, “I love you too.”
