Page 45 of The Duke of Dunloch Castle
And think she did. All night, while James lay asleep next to her, she thought about the possibility, and by the morning, Christmas morning, she was convinced that it was true.
Her first instinct was to tell James. They had promised when they wed that there would be no secrets and no lies between them, and although she had only just realised herself that she was most probably at least two months gone with child, she felt guilty that he did not already know.
She waited until he awoke naturally, not wanting to disturb his peaceful slumber. And when he did, she beamed at him and wished him a merry Christmas.
"And to you, my love," he said, and the tender endearment – which he had started using more regularly of late – sent a warm glow through her body. "It's rare for you to be awake before me," he commented, sitting up and leaning back against the pillows. "Is everything well? Or are you just so excited for Christmas you could not sleep?"
Penelope beamed. The more she thought of a child of their own, the happier she became. Somehow, she seemed to have everything she could have wanted – a husband whom she loved, even if they had not yet shared those words, a child on the way, and a beautiful castle to call her own.
"I am excited. And I did struggle to sleep…but it’s not just about Christmas."
James raised an eyebrow. "No?"
She shook her head. "No. I have…I have a present for you."
James smiled. "I have a present for you too, of course – downstairs."
"I have a present downstairs as well, but this is… You’ll have to wait a little while for it. But I wanted to tell you as soon as I knew. James – I’m carrying your child."
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It was not the news that he had expected to wake up to on Christmas morning. It wasn’t wholly unexpected, of course – but when she had not fallen pregnant in the first few months of their marriage, he supposed the possibility had rather faded from his mind.
When he did not say anything, the smile on her face faltered, and he felt terrible, as he always did if he hurt or disappointed her. It was never done intentionally, but he seemed rather good at putting his foot in it.
"I thought you'd be pleased…" she said with a sorry half-smile. "And if it’s a boy, he’ll be the heir to your title, to the castle…"
James nodded slowly. "I am pleased," he reassured her, reaching out to take her hand. "But I guess I’m wondering… Do I know how to raise a child? To be a good role model?" He thought of the way he had been raised, to only think of the title. And of the boy named Timothy who he had not met, but who had been raised with no idea of the title his own father held. He had always thought his parents excellent role models – but now he wasn’t so sure that the way they had done things had always been right.
"Of course you do! You’ve been a father figure to your sisters for a long time."
James winced a little at the reminder. While he was trying to make up for it, he did not feel he had been the most supportive of guardians to his sisters since their parents had passed on. This had become even more apparent when he had known nothing of Antonia’s attachments to an inappropriate gentleman – not until the incident had been resolved by the woman before him.
"I was raised…to think that this title was the only important thing about me. That if I was not the Duke ofDunloch, then I was nobody. I don’t want a son of mine to feel that way or to spend all his life working with no time to play."
Penelope squeezed his hands, and he looked into her kind, brown eyes. "Then we shan’t let him. This is our child, our choice. If we have a boy, then we will raise him to know his duty and to know that there is so much more outside of the title: family, happiness, love."
James nodded, and a smile slowly spread across his face.
"Yes, you’re right. Of course you are. You’re always right."
Penelope laughed, a tinkling sound that echoed through the grand bedchamber. He did not remember Dunloch ever being as full of laughter as it had been in the year since he had married Penelope.
"And I am very pleased. Thank you for such a wonderful Christmas present," he said, leaning in to press a kiss to her lips. And then, when he pulled back, he said the words that had been true in his heart for some time, but which he had not, for some reason, been able to say. "I love you, Penelope. And I will love this child greatly, too."
Her eyes lit up, and that exuberant smile took over her face. "I love you too, James. I think I may have from the moment I woke up on the beach with you above me."
"Ah yes, the day you foolishly risked your safety to go out on the water for an hour or two."
"I like to remember it as the day I woke up to find the man I had been looking for all along rescuing me."
"Always the romantic," James teased.
"Only when I’m with you," she replied, pressing one final kiss to his lips before leaving the warmth of the bed and reaching for the bell pull to call her maid. "Come on, it’s Christmas morning – your sisters will be wondering where we are."
He would never admit it to her, as he would hate for her to repeat such an action, but he knew as he followed her that theday she had dangerously and foolishly gone to sea with a storm looming over her had actually ended up being the most fortunate day of his life.
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