Page 38 of Slap Shot Surprise
“Did I put it on wrong?” I racked my brain, trying to remember if I’d been in such a rush that I’d skipped some critical step.
“No. It just . . . failed, Joe. It can happen.”
“Not to me, it can’t!”
“Look, don’t panic, okay? I’m not here to make any demands. You don’t have to change your life.”
I looked at her and squinted, like she wasn’t in focus. “Huh?”
“You can still be who you are. I don’t expect you to drop everything and be a dad.”
A dad? What was she talking about? I couldn’t be a dad. Mydadwas a dad.
Iwas a hockey player. That’s all I knew how to be.
My brothers were dads, but they were different than me. Gianni was married to the only woman who’d ever put up with his bullshit, and he’d always worshipped her. Although, now that I thought about it, Ellie had gotten pregnant before they were married. Was there some sort of curse on the Lupo men?
But Gianni and Ellie were always going to be together! They’d been getting under each other’s skin since childhood, thrown together constantly because our moms were best friends. They’d gone to high school together. He was a chef and he ran the restaurant at her family’s winery. She was a wine expert and ran the tasting room. They’d been made for each other.
Paul had always known he wanted a family, and Alisonhad been there all along. He was a lawyer, and she was an accountant. They both liked rock climbing and jigsaw puzzles. They made perfect sense.
Mabel and I were polar opposites and near strangers. We didn’t even live in the same city. We’d spent less than twenty-four hours together.
She was going to have my baby?
I don’t want this, I thought like a selfish prick.I don’t fucking want this.
“Joe? Are you okay?” Mabel was looking at me with worried eyes, but I couldn’t answer her.
The room had started to spin like I was on a carnival ride. I could even hear the creepy organ music, wavering like a warped record. I swayed on my feet as the edges of my vision blurred. As the edges of my lifefrayed. The beer slipped from my grip and hit the floor, and my knees began to buckle.
“Joe!” Mabel stood up.
I backed up until the backs of my legs hit another piece of furniture—a chair—and I dropped into it. I couldn’t speak. Couldn’t think. Couldn’t breathe. My eyes closed.
What the fuck?
Her announcement sank into my head like a stone reaching the bottom of the lake.I’m pregnant.
I’m not sure how much time passed while I wished with all my might that this wasn’t happening. That I’d inadvertently slipped through a portal to an alternate dimension, but I’d find my way out any moment now, and things would go back to normal.
But when my eyelids went up, I was still sitting in the chair, and Mabel was on her hands and knees, mopping up the beer I’d spilled on the rug.
It brought me to my senses.
“Let me do that.” I got off the chair and took over, sopping up the mess with a towel she must have found in the kitchen while I was catatonic.
She sat back on her heels and adjusted her glasses. “Are you okay?”
“Yes. No. I’m . . . in shock.”
“I was too, when I first found out.”
“How long have you known?”
“A couple weeks.”
“And it’s definitely for sure in there?” I looked at her stomach, which appeared suspiciously flat.
