Page 4 of Small Town Swoo
Delphine gripped my hands tighter. “But it’s not true. Youcanfeel things deeply—and from the heart—but youdon’t want to. You avoid intense emotions because you’re scared of being vulnerable.”
“I’m not scared of anything,” I said quickly.
“You’ve been this way for a long time.” Delphine was silent a moment. “You experienced a loss early in your life that has stayed with you.”
I neither confirmed nor denied her statement. That loss wasn’t something I ever discussed, and no matter what Izzie said, I wasn’t going to mine it for emotional gold.
“Yes,” she said, as if it was obvious. “The blockage was started a long time ago and has only grown since then. You definitely need some clearing. I’m going to try.” Her expression was one of utter concentration, her mouth tight, her brow pinched. “Shoot. I can’t budge it. There are too many layers across too much time.”
“Is this where you try to upsell me on the energy-clearing machine?”
She shook her head slightly. “You’ll have to do it yourself. It will take a lot of introspection and hard work.”
Impatient, I bounced my leg beneath the table. “Look, just tell me what to do and I’ll do it.”
“You must stop hiding your deepest emotions.” Delphine spoke with increasing intensity. “You must shed the layers of protection you’ve put into place. You must eliminate the blockage in order to access the deepest reaches of your heart’s reservoir.”
“Could you be a little more specific, please?”
“You must strip down to your purest self.”
I stopped bouncing my leg. “Strip down? Like . . . get naked?”
“If that helps you to get comfortable with vulnerability, then yes.” She lifted her shoulders. “Sometimes our clothing is just a metaphor.”
“A metaphor for what?”
“The protective walls we put around our hearts. They keep us safe, yes, but they also keep us hidden. You must stop hiding.”
I thought for a moment. Ididlike being naked. Even if it wasn’texactlywhat she meant, it sounded a lot easier and way more enjoyable than going at my childhood trauma with a pickaxe. “And this will help me get better acting jobs?”
“I believe it will help you show the universe you are ready to receive what awaits you. That you are open to accepting its gifts.” She leaned forward in her chair and pinned me with her dark brown eyes. “Tear them down, Dashiel Buckley. Let in the light. What you seek is within.”
“Well? What did she say?” Izzie demanded as we got on the road back to my house in Los Feliz.
I stared out the passenger window, rubbing my index finger beneath my lower lip. “A lot of weird stuff.”
“Did she clear up your dark, cloudy energy?”
“No. She said I have to do it.”
“Did she say how?”
“She said I need to strip down to my purest self. Get more comfortable with being vulnerable.” I shrugged. “Apparently, clothes are contributing to the walls around my heart, and I need to get rid of them.”
“Clothesare your problem?” Izzie asked incredulously.
“That’s what she said,” I insisted, even though it wasn’tquitewhat she’d said. “My homework is to get naked more often.”
Izzie shook her head. “Far be it for me to doubt Delphine’s wisdom, but I feel like there has to be more to it.”
“Well, I don’t know what.”
“I do. You need to get out of Hollywood for a while.”
“You think I should leave town?”
“Yes! You need to get away from the scene, Dash. Nothing is real here. It’s all artifice—costumes and sets and props. You need to go someplace genuine and authentic, someplace where you feel safe. Like your hometown in Minnesota.”
