Page 122 of Small Town Swoo
“It’s not stupid. You love him.”
“I wish I didn’t.”
“You need something to take your mind off him. Something fun and exciting. Want to take a girls’ trip or something?”
“I can’t right now. Maybe after my dad is back on his feet.” Setting down the napkin, I took another sip of wine. “There is one thing that might excite me—although I can’t say it won’t remind me of him, since it was his idea.”
“What?”
“A Moe’s food truck. A little catering business that I’drun on my own with a menu I’d create. Something a little more me.” Just talking about it lifted my spirits.
Veronica gasped. “That’s a great idea!”
“Dash and I went to see one while he was home. Abelard Vineyards is selling their current truck, and his friend Gianni is the chef there. It’s not a bad deal, but it’s still crazy expensive.”
“Can you get a loan?”
“Maybe. I could try.”
“I’m sure a bank would approve you! With the Moe’s Diner name behind you, plus your training? And they’re so popular now! Who doesn’t love a food truck?”
“Uh, my parents?”
Her face fell. “Really?”
“They’re just so old-school. I mentioned it to my mom a couple weeks ago, and she didn’t really get it, or she pretended not to.” I shrugged. “But in her defense, she was really distracted by my dad’s health. She could tell something was off that day—we both could.”
“So maybe the timing was just wrong.” Veronica perked up. “Once your dad gets through this, can you try talking to them again? Maybe in the meantime, you do a little research on getting that loan.”
I nodded. “That’s a good idea.”
“I’m here if you need me, Ari. We all are.”
Later that night, I lay in bed, staring into the dark and trying not to think about the empty space next to me. I’d changed the sheets, hoping it might take the scent of him from the room, but I could still smell him. Still hear himcalling me his good girl. Still feel the warmth of his skin against mine.
I flopped onto my side, facing away from the place he used to fall asleep with his arm around me.
I missed it all.
TWENTY-FOUR
dash
For three days,I lay around my house in sweatpants and bare feet, unshaven, unmotivated, and unwilling to show my face in the world.
I turned down invitations to see friends, ignored my inbox and social media, and avoided responding to any of my family’s texts asking how the meeting had gone. I didn’t have the energy to work out, I couldn’t bring myself to care what I looked like, and I certainly didn’t feel like walking around naked.
I kept hoping Ari might reach out, but she never did. I kept hoping the days would get easier without hearing her voice, but they dragged. Every night, I crawled into bed alone, hoping I’d fall asleep without longing for her, but it never happened.
And if my personal life was a train wreck, my professional life was a dumpster fire on the side of the tracks.
The humiliation from Tuesday refused to let up. Was it a sign? Should I just call it quits? Host a game show? Was Milk still interested? I saw the announcement that the role of Johnny inAll We’ve Losthad been cast—damn that TomHolland—and I mourned the loss like it had actually once been mine.
I finally spoke with Izzie, who apologized profusely for the miscommunication and told me not to give up. “At least you’re on Katherine Carroll’s radar now,” she said brightly.
“Izzie, I’m on her radar wearing a shark onesie,” I grumbled, stretched out on my couch in sweats and an old Two Buckleys T-shirt. “That’s not the impression I wanted to make.”
“Well, maybe it just wasn’t meant to be. Beatrix feels terrible, by the way. She asked if I was going to fire her.”
