Page 121 of Small Town Swoo
Veronica rubbed my back. “You’re holding up so well. It must have been hard saying goodbye to Dash on top of everything with your dad.”
I nodded, feeling sadness grip my throat again. Icouldn’t seem to get off the verge of tears this week. “It was awful.”
“You guys looked so happy together at the wedding.”
“We were.” I set my glass down and slumped over. “God, Veronica. Why did I think I could keep my feelings for him casual?”
“I don’t know, sweetie.”
“I should have known better. I’ve loved him for too long. There was too much history.”
“That’s probably part of what makes your connection so good.”
“He has this way of being protective like a big brother, but alsonotlike a brother at all. Did I tell you about the phone call?”
“What phone call?” Veronica sipped her wine.
“My asshole ex—the chef in Manhattan—called my cell the day the Hugo Martin post came out, just to make sure I wouldn’t enjoy it too much. He spewed a bunch of bullshit about how he taught me everything and how dare I neglect to mention him, blah blah, but that didn’t even bother me. That’s just the usual narcissism.”
“I can’t believe you hadn’t blocked him already.”
“I had. He must have gotten a new number. But anyway, he didn’t really piss me off until he insulted Moe’s—then I kind of lost my cool and yelled at him. I was in the office at the diner, and Dash was there waiting for me—he heard me raise my voice and realized who I was talking to.”
“Uh oh.”
“He stormed in there and grabbed the phone. Threatened to burn down Niall’s restaurant if he ever contacted me again.”
Veronica’s eyes widened. “Holy shit! Were you mad?”
“No! I mean, maybe I should have been—I can fight my own battles—but I appreciated that he wanted to stand up for me. I’ve talked about Niall and the ways he made me doubt myself, so Dash already had something against him.” I sighed. “He apologized for going off. He said the thought of someone treating me badly made him want to smash things.”
“Aww. It’s sort of cute, Dash behaving like a hotheaded caveman—only inthatsituation, of course.”
“I know. He was just trying to show me he’s in my corner. And he’s so beautiful and fun and sweet and sexy,” I moaned. “Why won’t he just let me love him until the end of time? Is that too much to ask?”
Veronica laughed. “I don’t think so. How did you guys leave it?”
“The same way we found it. We’re just friends.”
“Are you going to at least visit each other?”
“What’s the point, Roni?” I despaired all over again. “He offered to fly me out there, but then what? I just go running off to L.A. every couple months, if that? Pine away for him the rest of my life? His career is about to blow up, I just know it. He doesn’t need a hometown honey.”
“Maybe that’s exactly what he needs,” countered Veronica. “Someone who knew him when. Someone he can be himself with. Someone who will always be honest and real. He probably meets a lot of fake people or people who just want things from him. Being with you is probably such a relief for him.”
I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter. His life and dreams are in one place, mine are in another, and for a little while they overlapped, but that’s all. I’m not harboring any delusions that we have a future.”
Veronica sighed. “It doesn’t seem right that you guys are so good together, but you won’t give it a chance.”
“It’s not about what’s right. It’s about what’s real,” I insisted. “Maybe in the movies, the Hollywood celebrity falls for the small-town diner waitress, but this is real life. My life. And it’s not happening. The sooner I accept it, the better.”
“Have you talked to him?”
“Not since Monday night. I asked him not to call me for a while. I told him I needed some time.” I closed my eyes. “I should be over him in a hundred years or so. Maybe more.”
“Oh, honey.” Veronica tipped her head onto my shoulder.
“I’m serious. I can’t remember a time in my life when I didn’t love him, and right now, I can’t imagine a time when I won’t. It’s like those years I spent trying to hate him were all for nothing. He’s just got thisholdover me.” I picked up a cocktail napkin and dabbed at my eyes. “Every night, I lie in bed and dream that he comes back and says, ‘I was wrong. I can’t stay away from you. Let’s make this work.’ It’s so stupid! I’m sixteen all over again!”
