Page 9 of The Complete Truth Duet
I sank down the wall, my shoulders shaking violently as sobs overtook me. They were skillfully silent. Wild, yet perfectly controlled from far too many years of practice. The sudden emotional release was agony when all I truly needed was a single second of relief.
Every tear was earth shattering, all-consuming, and torn from my soul.
And still, after all this time, they changed absolutely nothing.
But then again, nothing ever would.
Penn
“Penn,” Drew called from the other side of the door. “You ready?”
I blinked at the cheap commercial carpet beneath my bare feet.
It was a different hotel in what felt like a different lifetime. God knew, I was a different man. But the carpet was always the same.
Ugly. Dingy. Coarse.
Beautiful, heartbreaking…
Her.
Wiping the sweat beading on my forehead, I yelled, “It’s open!” I got busy pulling on my socks as the door cracked open, and Drew’s lanky frame appeared in my peripheral vision, holding two cups of coffee.
He propped his shoulder against the jamb. “You get any sleep?”
I shoved off the bed and walked to the dimly lit bathroom to grab my boots. “Few hours in the truck.”
“Mm,” he replied. “She was gone by midnight. You could have come back—”
“Can’t sleep in a hotel room. Not new information.” After sinking down on the corner of the bed, I slipped my brown leather boots on without allowing my gaze to stray to the carpet again. “Besides, me sleeping in here might hinder your ability to fuck your way through the female population of Chicago.”
He laughed and walked inside, using his foot to shut the door. “I spent the last two years behind bars where the only tits I saw were on a three-hundred-pound man named Bubba. I have some making up to do.”
I took the offered coffee and set it on the nightstand. “Should I be concerned that you were checking out Bubba in the shower?”
His cup stopped halfway to his mouth. “Jesus Christ. Was that a joke?”
I finished with my laces and then sat up, resting my elbows on my thighs and allowing my hands to dangle between my legs. “I don’t know. I guess that depends on how nice you thought his tits were.”
He stared at me in awe for several seconds, and then a slow Drew Walker smile split his face, but his eyes turned dark. “Shit, it’s good to see you again, brother,” he choked out through the emotion.
I cut my gaze to the side to hide the way his happiness wrecked me. It sure as fuck didn’t feel good to see myself when I looked in the mirror. “Listen, I’m going to grab some breakfast. What time do we have to be there?”
I felt his presence close in on me, but I gathered my wallet and keys to avoid eye contact.
“You don’t have to do this, Penn.”
My head snapped up. “You know I do.”
He stepped into my path, forcing me to pull up short. “Go home. You still have the house, right?”
Drew was younger than I was by two years, but that little shit had me in height.
I had him everywhere else.
Pressing a palm to his chest, I gave him a hard shove. “Move, asshole.”
He shook his head. “I appreciate you coming to pick me up, but you should go back. Start a new company.”
“You mean like the one I lost? Yeah, spectacular idea.”
“No. I mean like the one you gave up the day she died.”
My hand on his chest became a fist around his T-shirt. “Shut your damn mouth.”
“You know it’s true.”
“No. What I fucking know is I need a goddamn job, Drew. Same as you. And not twenty-four hours ago, you said your buddy on the inside found us one. Don’t start this go home bullshit with me now.”
His brown eyes held my blues, neither of us willing to back down. “You don’t belong here.”
“I don’t fucking belong anywhere!” I roared, giving him a hard shake before releasing him.
Like I’d been shot, anger tore free of the numbness making me feel everything, fresh as the day I’d failed her. My chest heaved, and my heart went to war with my rib cage. Lacing my fingers on the back of my neck, I tucked my chin to my chest and stared down at that fucking carpet.
One in. One out.
“Please!” she’d screamed as the silver blade of his knife disappeared inside her stomach.
One in. One out.
“You’ll never be alone,” she’d whispered in her vows the day we’d gotten married.
One in. One out.
“Just a little longer,” she’d soothed the day I’d watched her drive away for the very last time.
One in. One out.
I squeezed my eyes shut and focused on the emptiness that filled my vision.
One in. One out.
Slowly, the familiar numbness began to creep back over me like a force field rejuvenating my defenses and allowing me to breathe again.
“I need this, Drew.”
