Page 72 of The Complete Truth Duet
I refused to respond anymore as I shoved the key into the doorknob, unlocking it before repeating the process on the deadbolt and swinging it open. I might have been angry, but I liked his face, so rather than slamming the door shut behind me and risking any further injury, I left it open.
“Where did you go!”
I walked to my bedroom, rubbing my temples. I did not have the energy to deal with anything else. “Penn, please. Be quiet. The girls are asleep. And I’m tired. And it’s freaking late.”
“You’re seriously not going to answer me after that bullshit tonight? For fuck’s sake, Cora, I deserve a goddamn answer.”
“No,” I snapped, dropping my purse on the floor and turning to face him. “I’m not—” I stopped midsentence, unable to continue.
He wasn’t mad.
He wasn’t being a dick.
He wasn’t like any man I’d ever had in my life.
Because, with one look at him, I realized he was flat-out terrified.
“Penn,” I breathed, my heart jumping into my throat.
His chest rose and fell with great effort. He leaned into the forearm he had propped against the doorjamb as if it were the only thing holding him up and his eyes morphed into dark puddles of grief.
“Shit. Okay. Okay. It’s not a big deal. I went to drop off some money for one of the girls.” I hurried over to him and placed my hand on his stomach.
He shook his head, his face the perfect picture of desolation.
“Hey,” I whispered. Lifting his free hand, I kissed the back of it. “I’m fine. We’re both fine. Come on. Let’s sit down.”
He took me literally, sinking to the floor only inches inside the doorway, his legs bent with both feet planted on the wood and his head hung low.
I slid down to join him, settling at his side but facing him. I hooked my arm around his leg and leaned against it. “What’s going on?”
He closed his eyes and scrubbed his jaw as though he could rub away whatever cloud had invaded his head. “I was so fucking scared.”
I inched closer. “Baby, I’m right here.”
“No, Cora. I thought you were gone. I didn’t know where you were and I had no way to get in touch with you. No way to know if you were safe. No way to know if you were alive or…” He shook his head, unwilling to finish. “All I could see each time I blinked was losing you the same way I did…her. Only, this time, I wouldn’t even know I was losing you until it was too late. I couldn’t go through that again. Not with you. Never with you. You’re supposed to win. You’re supposed to be happy. You’re supposed to get out. You’re supposed to live.”
Hindsight: That should have been the exact moment suspicion slithered over me. But he was rambling in the middle of an emotional breakdown. A lot of what he was saying didn’t make sense. But it was all sweet, and it was coming from somewhere deep inside his closet of fears.
“I know, baby.”
“You can’t end up like her, Cora. And, tonight, knowing you were out there, with no way for me to reach you… No way to protect you.” He stared off into the distance, sucking in through his teeth like he was breathing through the pain of a knife gliding across his skin.
It was pain I felt for him as guilt exploded inside me. He hadn’t known where Lisa was the night she’d died. He blamed himself specifically for that.
And there I was, giving him attitude for asking about where I’d been—for caring about where I’d been.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
He grabbed the back of my head, pulling me toward him before tucking my face against the curve of his neck. “I can’t lose you, Cora. Not like that. I can’t. I just can’t.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” I swore while peppering apology-filled kisses up his neck. I leaned my torso in front of him until he lowered his legs to allow me the space to climb into his lap. “I promise I’m not going anywhere.”
“You don’t know that. You have to be more careful,” he rumbled, turning away so I couldn’t see him, but the devastation couldn’t be hidden.
I kissed across his cheek—the stubble tickling my lips—over his nose, and up and down every inch of his face I could reach, murmuring, “I do know it, Penn. Because I’ll be with you. You’ll make me safe. I believe you.”
His head cranked to the side like I’d slapped him, and he groaned, “I gotta get you out of here. Fuck. I gotta get you out of here.”
I didn’t have the chance to ask what he meant before he rose to his knees with me securely held to his chest and laid me down on the wood floor, his body coming down on top of me.
