Page 154 of The Complete Truth Duet
“What are you doing?” I asked. I wasn’t too proud to admit that a pang of jealousy hit me when I imagined what he was thinking about.
All the nights he’d made love to her in that room.
All the nights she’d fallen asleep at his side.
All the mornings he’d kissed her goodbye before going out for his run.
He’d loved her. And that was okay. But that didn’t mean I enjoyed thinking about them together, which was proving to be a teensy bit difficult because there was way more than just a wedding picture on the mantel. Before we’d gone down to the beach, Penn had removed the majority of them. And he’d done it smiling and not in agonizing pain, the way I’d expected after his mini panic attack in the truck.
But she was still there in that house with us.
And I hated the idea that maybe he was lost in his memories with her.
His blue eyes came to mine, the weight of his gaze stealing my breath. “Debating if I can ever go in there again.”
I swallowed hard. “It’s just walls and memories. She’s not behind that door.”
“No. But I am. That night, when I watched her die, I was in that room. And for twenty-nine minutes, Thomas Lyons and those men killed me too. In some ways, it feels like a blurry, distant memory. In others, it’s so sharp and fresh I can see it on the back of my lids.”
God, I was an ass. While I was busy getting jealous of a woman who was no longer alive, Penn was lost in the bad times, not the good.
“Oh, Penn,” I breathed, hurrying over to wrap him in a hug. “I’m so sorry.”
He put his lips to the top of my head and inhaled deeply. “I think she would have liked this.”
I put my chin to his chest and looked up at him. “Liked what?”
“Me and you.”
I smiled. “You were her husband. I can speak with absolute certainty when I say she would have hated your new girlfriend.”
He grinned, taking aim at my mouth for a quick peck. “I’m not one of those people who believe that everything happens for a reason. I’ll never be able to say that there was a reason why she should have died.” He kissed me again, letting it linger as he drew in a reverent breath. “But maybe you’re why I had to watch.”
Chills exploded across my skin, and my nose started stinging. “No, baby. No. That was—”
“The only reason I got you,” he finished. “Experiencing that anger, and pain, and helplessness, it lit the fire, Cora. And it burned hotter every day until I met you. Losing her would have brought me to my knees no matter what. But watching it happen made sure I could never get back up. It set everything in motion. It birthed the rage that demanded vengeance. And then that same vengeance guided me straight to your door.”
My heart hurt. I did not want to be the silver lining to his nightmare. He’d always see that in me, and I wanted to be something different for Penn. Something good.
“I don’t know about that, Penn. Drew didn’t watch and he seems to have that same rage brewing inside him.”
His brow furrowed as confusion hit his face. “Drew?” He paused. “Did I ever tell you where he was the night Lisa died?”
I shook my head, an odd sense of unease taking up root in my stomach.
He briefly closed his eyes. “A half a mile away from her.”
I jolted like his arms had become electrified. “What? I thought—”
“Drew and I got the worst of both worlds. I had to watch from over a thousand miles away, while he was sitting at the bar just down the street, waiting for her to show up, clueless that she was dying only blocks away.”
The breath tore from my throat like he’d punched me. “How?”
“He hated when she went out on those assignments like that. Drew’s way of handling that fear was by pretending it wasn’t happening, so he dodged her calls for over a month. They were always super close and it was bothering her that he wouldn’t answer. So, one night, he and I went out for a drink and I gave him so much shit that he finally relented. He called her, and she told him all about the Guerreros, and Thomas, and you. Which, for Drew, knowing everything only made it worse. So, a couple days later, he got on a plane, flew up there, bound and determined to drag her home. And if anyone could do it, it was her brother.”
He smiled, tight and sad. “I was so fucking thrilled I bought the plane ticket myself. She was pissed when she found out he was there, refused to tell him where she was staying—probably because it was your building on that particular night—but she told him to meet her at the bar the following night. She never showed up though.”
