Page 43 of The Complete Truth Duet
His eyes flared, and he shook his head. “Cora, don’t.”
“This is a simple question.” I bent at the hip, bringing us closer without ever moving my feet, and demanded, “Why…are…you…here?”
The air in the room took on an icy chill, and his face filled with dread. “Don’t make me do this.”
“I’m not making you do anything. You don’t want to explain to me why I should trust a single word that comes out of your mouth, then we’re done here.”
I stared at him.
Challenging him to lie.
Begging him to tell the truth.
Praying he wasn’t the type of man I feared he was.
And hoping beyond all reason that he was the type of man I so desperately needed him to be.
It was that part of me that whispered, “Please, Penn.”
His whole body jerked, his forehead crinkling as he swayed his head from side to side before looking down at the floor. His powerful shoulders rounded forward and he raked a hand through the top of his short, brown hair.
And then Penn told me a truth I never wanted to hear.
“I watched her die,” he rumbled. His head came up, his gaze as heavy as the day I’d met him, but it was no longer hollow and empty. His eyes were filled to the brim with every emotion under the sun, and each one of them was slicing him to the core. “Lisa. My wife. I watched her die.”
My lungs seized, and my hand came up to cover my mouth. I’d had my suspicions, but confirmation still felt like a blindside.
“She was a freelance journalist away on a job. I use the term ‘freelance’ lightly. She really just loved to travel and to meet new people. I swear we spent the majority of our marriage on Skype or FaceTime. I’d asked her to quit a million times, but she couldn’t. The adventure of it all was a part of her.” He almost smiled at the memory—until it devoured him. His hands began to tremble as though the emotions were seeking a way out, frenzied to find a breach. “We were talking on a video call when…” He paused to clear his throat. “I watched two men break into her hotel room and slit her throat, but not before they spent twenty-nine minutes beating and stabbing her like a twisted game.” A rabid snarl contorted his face, but his anger was aimed inward. “And I could do nothing to stop them.”
“The drop of water to put out her fire,” I breathed with an aching chest when I remembered his words from that night in the hall.
He nodded. “If I could have gotten to her, I could have saved her, Cora. I was just too far away. She was begging for help. Crying, pleading, choking on blood, and I didn’t even know what hotel she was at. What kind of husband doesn’t know where his wife is staying for the night? One question and I could have stopped it. I had her on my cell phone while on the landline, feeding the cops the tiny bits and pieces I could see about the room. It took thirty minutes for them to find her. But it’s that one fucking minute that they were too late that haunts me.” He stabbed a violent finger at his chest. “And that’s on me. For the rest of my life. That failure is on me.”
I reached out as if I could perform the impossible task of soothing the gaping hole in his heart. I knew that feeling. The helplessness. The anger. The pain. I remembered it all clear as the day I’d watched my husband take his dying breath, riddled with bullets, while sprawled out on top of me, his final words asking if I was okay. Even in death, his first priority was my safety.
Catching my hand, he tugged me toward him and rested my palm over his chest before covering it with his own. “That’s why I’m here, Cora. I’ve spent four years trying to outrun the memories of that night. And when Drew got out of jail, I pounced on the opportunity to start over.” He leaned into me, pressing my hand hard against his chest as though he could make me feel the truth in his confession.
To a degree, it worked; the rhythm of his heart was not one that could have been faked. It was the same staccato that played beneath my ribs every night as Nic’s dark, dead eyes strobed on the backs of my lids with every blink.
“Did they catch the guys?” I whispered.
Penn nodded. “The cops killed ’em.”
“Good.”
We stood in silence, his heart gradually slowing along with my fears. It made sense. I’d have done anything to start my life over after losing Nic. I’d tried, only to be dragged back into the pits of hell. And then I’d tried again.
