Page 88 of On the Slopes of Tahoe
“Yeah, but still. How’s Willow handling being back?” he asks, taking a seat next to me. We stare out at the city that’s been my home for so long, a view that’s brought me peace and comfort for years.
The Harbour Bridge is to our left and the Opera House sits to our right. There are yachts bobbing in the water directly in front of us, and I wonder for a second what it would be like to get on one and just set sail for the horizon.
“She’s trying. School’s been weird. She missed a month of time with her class, so even though she’s not behind, she feels like she’s on the outside.” I squeeze my neck, feeling the sharp prickle of hair there. I cut it the day after we got back, feeling like I needed to change something I could control. “I worried this would happen when we extended our vacation, but neither of us was ready to come back at the end of January. We’re paying the price for that now.”
He just nods and drinks his coffee, giving me space to continue.
“I think the kids are saying stuff to her about Talia too, but she’s being vague about it. The moms at pickup this week have all been pleasant. You know, in thewe’re going to start talking about you as soon as you turn your backway.”
“That’s shit, man, I’m sorry. I can pick her up next week if you want.”
I shake my head. “I can handle it. It just makes me wonder what they’re saying, what their kids are hearing, and what they might say to Willow. She’s doing her best, putting on a brave face, but I don’t want her to have to do that.”
“If I can help somehow, just let me know. I don’t have another trip until Thursday.” He looks away and continues. “I talked to Rory this morning.”
“Yeah?” I keep my eyes locked on the water too, afraid they’ll give away how my heart lurched at the sound of her name.
“Yeah, she showed me around her new place. It’s pretty nice. Did she tell you she went down to part-time at the resort?”
“What? No.” I swing my gaze to his and find him studying me.
“Yeah, a couple days after you left. I guess she was planning to quit outright, but they offered her the option.” He shrugs. “I always liked her boss. Anyway, I haven’t properly thanked you for helping her. I know I was unsure about the whole situation when you guys first told me, but I’m man enough to eat crow when I need to, and you both proved me wrong.”
“It was all her, man. I helped with some of the finer points of the business side of things, but she’s got all the talent to back it up. If anything,” I say, working to keep my voice even, “she helped me more. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to repay her for all she did for us.”
Wes raises an eyebrow, and I keep going. “It felt good to be back in the saddle, building a business from scratch. I remember those days with Adventure Chasers, and they were the best. Exhausting but exhilarating. Helping her revived that drive in me, and though I’m unsure what that might turn into here, I don’t feel as stuck as I did when I left.”
I don’t go into how she helped me to feel less stuck in other areas of my life too. Or how I can’t go a night without dreaming of her in my bed, my arms.
“That’s incredible, mate,” he says, and I could almost take his words as a response to my unspoken ones.
But they’re not. He doesn’t know about us, and he doesn’t need to. There’s seven thousand miles of space that dictated the end to that relationship. I was supposed to leave all those feelings behind, but it’s so much more than her body I’m missing when I’m alone in bed at night. It’s justher.I miss her.
“I wonder why she didn’t tell me she was going to quit?” I say, breaking through my wayward thoughts.
“I don’t know. Have you guys talked much?”
I shrug again. “Not really. We FaceTimed Sunday night after we arrived and texted some earlier in the week, but it was mostly about business.” It’s not like I don’t want to talk to her. Talking to her just makes it harder to be here right now though, and this is where I need to be. But,I miss her.
“I know the time difference can be a bitch, but I think she’d love to talk to you.” He lifts his coffee again, letting his words land.
“Did she say something?” Nonchalance is not my forte, and I’m pretty sure I fail at it here. I feel like a schoolgirl talking about her crush. God, I’m pathetic.I miss her.
Wes smirks. “No, but I can tell she’s missing you guys. It’s just an observation. Do with it what you will.”
I lean back on my hands, letting my legs kick along the wall. “That’s not—it’s not weird for you if I call her?”
“Not at all.” He grabs my shoulder, pushing it until I turn to face him. “Look, I wish I could’ve been there for you in Tahoe, but it is what it is. Y’all lived together, I imagine you formed a bond in that time.” His gaze pierces mine, sincere and knowing. “I’m never going to stand in the way of you getting the support you need, wherever you need it from. I think you did a lot of good for her too.”
I could tell him now. Tell him about how much deeper that bond went. I could ask him what the hell I’m supposed to do.
“I’ll talk to her,” I say instead. We go back to staring out over the water and I let the conversation drop. Internally though, I’m screaming that I. MISS. HER.
And I’m kicking myself for walking away.
Willow slams the door to the house and my head snaps up from where I’m sitting on the couch, staring at Rory’s name on my phone. My fingers hover just above it, as if I could reach through and touch her by just tapping on her name.
“Bloody hell. Willow, what’s going on?” Her tear-stained cheeks have me jumping up and over the back of the couch. I had another mom drive her home today, thinking maybe the extra time with one of her friends would be good for her. Looks like I fucked that up.
