Page 60 of On the Slopes of Tahoe
“Sorry, Daddy.” Willow’s voice quavers. I want to give them a minute, but I’m afraid she’ll fall if I let go of her hand.
“It’s okay, sweetheart. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I don’t like talking about her anymore.”
Ugh. This kid is breaking my heart.
“That’s fine, but you can if you want to. Or need to.”
“But you don’t like to talk about her either.” He recoils as if she physically hit him with those words. It’s true. I’ve heard him mention Talia less than a handful of times since he’s been here.
“I don’t, you’re right, but that doesn’t mean we can’t. I’m sorry I haven’t given you a way to do that. I’ll do better, okay?”
She nods and pulls her hand free from mine, swiping it under her eyes.
“You know,” I say, grabbing Willow’s hand again and squeezing it to bring her attention to me. “I have another elopement booked for this weekend, and I need you to be my assistant again… if your dad’s alright with it?”
Her sadness morphs into something brighter, and a quick glance at Breck shows relief in his features at the change in subject. He mouths a silentthank youand I offer him a brief nod in return.
“Do you need me to officiate this one?” he asks.
“Jamie was on board when we booked it, but since you’re here, I’m sure he’d be fine with you doing it.”
Breck nods. “I’m happy to help.” There’s more meaning behind the words than his offer to officiate another wedding. He wants to help me make this—Willow Tree Elopements—a reality, but I’m scared. It still feels like a dream, one I’ve wanted for so long but never dared to believe would come true.
We tug Willow around the rink while I tell her where we’ll be going for the next shoot, what I know about the bride and groom, and what kinds of pictures we might take. She fires back questions and throws out suggestions like she’s a pro.
We finish off the night with dinner at Base Camp Pizza Co., followed by a brisk walk home. Breck carries Willow on his back—her little legs too tired after a solid hour of skating. Her head rests on his far shoulder, her eyes heavy and her breathing slowly evening out. I admire her ability to fall asleep like this, and I admire his ability to carry her for this long.
We walk in companionable silence, but somewhere along the way, Breck’s fingers brush mine. First, it’s just our pinkies, then slowly his gloved fingers twine through mine. His firm hold sends an electric current up my arm, and despite the chill, my whole body feels warm. I want to melt into him, let him wrap an arm around me and hold me close, but we can’t do that. So we finish our walk, hand in hand, and even though I probably should, I don’t pull away.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Breck
I’m staring out the wall of windows, across the deck, up to the darkened mountains beyond. Snowflakes fall, coating everything in a soft blanket of white. I’m the only one awake, and the silence around me is barely a match for the volume of my thoughts. After hours of restlessness, I finally gave up on sleep and have been sitting here ever since. Staring at nothing and contemplating everything.
For the past two months in Tahoe, it’s felt like Willow and I have been on vacation from our real lives. This week has beena bit of a wake-up call, but even the dose of reality that comes with Willow starting school tomorrow has nothing on the email sitting in my inbox. The one that arrived just before I went to bed last night. It’s the proverbial pin that has obliterated the cocoon of perceived normalcy we’ve been basking in.
The new owners of Adventure Chasers are asking for a video call with me, Talia, and Drew to go over some logistical issues they’re having. On the surface, the request is innocuous: new owners asking previous owners for insight. But the idea of getting on a call with Talia and Drew feels like an invasion of the safe space I’ve been building since they left. The email specifically asks for all three of us to be available, and I have to assume there’s a reason for that.
It’s hard enough to think of my business in the hands of someone else, but to have to deal with Talia and Drew seems insurmountable. Adventure Chasers wasmybaby. I wanted to work with people, offer them the best experiences Sydney had to offer, and participate in those adventures with them every day. I never wanted to sell. In fact, when the offer came in, I said no on the spot. I wasn’t interested in the slightest. It was Talia and Drew who pushed me to consider it.
I didn’t understand why they’d want to sell and start over, have to find new jobs when the one we had was perfect. Apparently, it was only perfect for me. Apparently, they’d been waiting for just such an opportunity to get out, leave, and never look back.
The sun illuminates the slopes outside in slow increments as my cup of tea grows colder in my hand. A new day dawning. One I’ve been looking forward to for weeks.
Of course this email would come on the eve of Willow’s birthday, and bring with it the rain cloud of the past that I’ve been avoiding. A reminder that the future I saw for myself isforever changed. A future I saw in vivid clarity on a Tuesday in June almost nine years ago.
My knuckles have barely lifted from the door when it flies open and, before I even have a moment to process, a white stick is thrust into my hands. I take it and Talia turns her back on me, walking away, while I study it. The stick shows two pink lines.
Pregnant.
Talia is pregnant.
I drag my eyes to the woman sitting on her living room floor, head in her hands. A sheet of dark hair falls across her face, shoulders shaking, and her muffled cries pull me toward her.
This was not what I expected when she called me over here today. If I’m honest, I thought she was ending things. Instead, this feels like a cementing of things. I look back to the stick, and even though I’m absolutely fucking terrified, there’s a jolt in my system too.I’m going to be a dad.
