Page 12 of On the Slopes of Tahoe
A few months ago, Jamie asked me to take photos while he officiated an elopement for his friends John and Bree, and I jumped at the chance. It was just a favoranda perfect excuse to be around something I’ve always loved: weddings. We had such a blast with the first one that we’ve done a couple more, but always under the guise of it being “for fun.” It’s not like I’m trying to change jobs or anything… it’s just a hobby. I shake my head and smirk.Imagine?Mom and Dad would have a field day.
I sigh happily and scroll through the images, remembering every little touch, smile, and kiss as the bride and groom said their vows. Watching two people declare their love for each other helps me feel more connected to it. Especially since the romantic kind of love seems to be on a permanent vacation from my lifelately. I guess I thought by the time I was twenty-seven, my life would look a little different. A little less lonely.
Wes is in Australia and my parents are—well, my parents. I have friends, and Jamie’s like a second brother, but none of that is the same as having someone to call my own. I want aperson—my person. I dated a lot in college, searching for that, but no one ever fit the bill.
Then there was Kyle, and the failure of that relationship still hovers around me sometimes. Not because I miss him, but because of what the breakdown between us cost me. Mom and Dad introduced us—he was the son of one of their associates and it made them happy to see me with someone they felt was appropriate. ButIwasn’t happy. I couldn’t be myself with him—which shouldn’t have come as such a shock, what with our origin tale being what it was.
I didn’t need one more person controlling my life, controlling me. The breakup was more than the two of us splitting—it marked the end of a dream for our parents, and it didn’t go over well. Mom and Dad lost friends (read: business associates) and it was “all my fault.” All those years of constantly trying to please my parents and that was what fractured it in ways I never expected. I’m still trying to fix those broken pieces, and it’s been over a year.
I haven’t gone on a single date since.
I click into the finished file for a different elopement we did right around Thanksgiving. We hiked up a trail that gave us a perfect view of the lake in the background, and then clambered out onto a huge rock where Jamie stood before the couple and declared them man and wife. Yes, they trekked in full tuxedo and wedding dress, with hiking boots, and they smiled the whole time. So did I.
Some days, the concept of finding a love like that seems so far out of reach, but then I take photos like these and it feelsattainable again. Like if these people found it, then maybe I can too.
I want more of that feeling, but I also know Jamie can’t take on more elopements. He’s busy promoting his new book and once he starts writing the next one, he’ll be holed up in his home office. One or two a month is the most he can swing. Not that I have time for more either. I need to focus on my real job. I’m good at it, and I should be content with that. Even if I suspect it’ll never make my heart soar the way capturing these couples in the most beautiful location on earth does.
I shake my head and, with a growly sigh, click the tabs closed. This can only ever be a hobby. It’s not going to pay my bills. It’s not going to keep my parents happy—though that outcome feels more and more out of reach every day anyway.
A ding from my email draws my attention and I open it, an ironic laugh bubbling up. It’s an inquiry about shooting an elopement. Of course it is. They’re also friends with John and Bree, and their date is in February. This puts us at six word-of-mouth bookings since we did theirs. I pull my phone from my hoodie pocket and text Jamie.
Me
Whatcha up to February 27th?
Jamie
I don’t know, why? Planning to pay me back for having dinner with your parents this weekend?
I groan, having forgotten about the dinner entirely. Poor Jamie. They’re better behaved when he’s there, but it won’t be pleasant. If they had their way, Jamie and I would be married by now and I’d have a “real” journalism job with a publication somewhere. We’d be a power couple: the published author and the published journalist.
I’m never not disappointing them.
Me
What do you want? I’m pretty sure I owe you my firstborn at this point.
Jamie
Hmmm, still pondering, but I promise it’ll be good. So, what’s happening on the 27th?
Me
You up for another elopement?
Jamie
Yeah, sure, I guess.
Me
Sound a little more enthusiastic why don’t you.
Jamie
Sorry, I just had no idea this would become such a thing. I’m surprised is all.
Me
