Page 36 of Losing Mila

“It doesn’t matter now.” I casually shrug my shoulders. “She’s dating some other guy.”

“Who is she?”

Realising this is the first time I’m admitting how I feel about her, I pause for a heartbeat before finally saying, “It’s Mila.”

Chris’ eyebrows shoot up, his expression a combination of surprise and amusement.

“The babysitter?”

I nod before taking a long sip of my beer.

“Fuck man!” He shakes his head, chuckling. “I thought she was off-limits. Isn’t she like, what—fifteen years younger than you?”

“Eleven,” I correct him.

“Tomato, potato.”

I frown at him. “That’s not how you say it.”

“Don’t change the subject! Now, tell daddy, when did all of this start?”

I blow out a hard breath. “About several weeks ago—when Mila and I started this game where we’d ask one another twenty-one questions to get to know each other better. And I guess the more time I spent with her, the stronger the connection felt. She’s not just smart and beautiful—she’s surprisingly wise for her age. And she’s just incredible with Jake.”

Chris puffs out a sharp exhale. “Fuck, bro. It sounds like you got it bad for her. Have you told her how you feel?”

I shake my head. “She’s seeing someone now, so there’s no point.”

“How long has she been dating the guy?”

Shrugging my shoulders, I take another sip of my beer. “I’m not sure, maybe a month or so. I’ve met him, and though he seems like a gentleman, there’s just something about him I don’t trust.”

“Like?”

“He seems a little clingy. A little too possessive.”

“Or maybe he just really likes her. How do you feel when you see them together?”

Chris asks.

Let’s see—how do I feel when I see Dean’s arms wrapped around Mila’s shoulders or any other part of her body for that matter? How do I feel when she looks at him like he really is the most amazing man in the world? If I had to describe it, it’s like a sharp, gut-wrenching blow to the stomach. In other words—it’s fucking agonising. I feel frustrated, jealous, confused, but above all, I’m disappointed that she’ll never know how I really feel about her. I’ve missed my chance, it’s too late now, and I only have myself to blame. Rather than explaining all of this to Chris, I offer him a different truth instead.

“How I feel is irrelevant as long as Mila is happy. If she’s been treated with respect and is taken good care of, then that’s all that matters to me.”

Chris places a hand on my shoulder, his expression one of silent assurance. “You’re a good man, you know that? There aren’t many guys like you left these days.”

Before I can respond, Gemma and Chris’ date, Krista, join us again at the table.

“What did we miss?” Gemma asks as she takes a swig of her rum and coke.

Chris glances at me without uttering a word, and I already know what he’s thinking—I should just get this over with.

“Hey, Gem, is it okay if we go somewhere to talk?”

She frowns, a hint of worry crossing her beautiful face, but she nods in agreement.

We both stand, letting the others know that we’ll only be a moment, before making our way towards the exit stairs where it’s quieter and more private.

“What’s up?” Gemma says as soon as we’re standing face to face.