Page 58 of How to Get Lucky
Great. My dog won’t even amateur psychoanalyze me now.
I take a shower to clear my head, but the heat and the steam don’t bring answers about what to do next.
I text Sam to see if I can stop by his place before work. He says yes.
Ten minutes later, Sam lets me into his living room, where a yoga mat and blocks dominate the space.
“Didn’t mean to interrupt your practice.”
“All good, brother. Your text came in the middle of my vinyasa. Normally I’m too centered to deal with my phone, but something told me you needed me. Almost like your reaching out was a part of the flow, know what I mean?”
My brow knits in confusion. Hell, my whole body is a pretzel, and not the yoga kind. “I don’t know what anything means right now, man.”
“Whoa, slow down, bro. What’s going on? Sit.”
I take a seat on his couch as he returns to the floor, holding court, listening attentively in half lotus. I catch him up on everything: London, running into the guys this morning, losing an All Night Entertainment gig. “And now I’m not even sure where I stand with Archer and the club—the one thing that’s been a constant for me this past year, and I’ve probably fucked that up too. All because, out of the four million people in LA, I happened to fall in love with the one woman related to my boss.”
“Ten million, actually.”
“What?” I ask, confused.
“Four million people in the city, but ten million in LA county. You found the one in a sea of ten million.”
“Oh. Sounds romantic and star-crossed when you say it like that.”
Sam takes a deep, even breath and slowly lets it out. “It kinda is, Teddy. Think about all the possible moments in your life that can set off sparks. All the interactions that could ignite something fierce. And after Tracy, you were actively trying not to let that fire happen at work again, but it did. What you and London have is undeniable, man. Unavoidable. You just told me you loved her. Didn’t even flinch.”
“Because I do,” I say, the gravity of my words more intense than before.
I love London.
I want to go to weddings with her, take her out for sushi, bring the dogs to the park, eat ice cream, talk about toasters.
Everything is better with London.
Trouble is, London’s gone. She needs space.
And truthfully, I need it too.
But I don’t know what to do now, so I hold my arms out wide. “What do I say to Archer tonight? Do I quit? Do I tell him I’m in love with his sister? I’ve been down this road before, and it didn’t end well.”
Sam adjusts his other leg on top of his half lotus. “London’s not Tracy, and Archer isn’t Tracy’s dad. None of this has ever happened before. Every moment is new. What does your gut tell you? What does your heart say? Ask those questions and listen to the answers. Then decide what you’re going to do with this moment.”
I mull over his advice, but not for long.
Because ideas begin to spark.
Plans take shape.
Real ones. True ones.
“I need to be honest.” I recall Mom’s advice about priorities, and as Sam’s wisdom also takes hold, so does my certainty. “I need to come clean.” The thoughts pour out as fast as they form. “Not just about the job. I need to be fully honest with my boss. I owe it to him. I owe it to London. Hell, I owe it to myself. Because that’s the man I want to be. A good guy.” I smile, remembering London’s initial challenge to me.
“That’s the Teddy I’ve always known, but life is a series of tests we must continually pass.”
Energy fills me, flooding my cells. My mind races to tonight.
I stand. Pace. Blueprint the evening ahead.
“I need to quit Edge, but not for the reasons I thought. I thought I could quit, then mention I was seeing London down the road, and it wouldn’t be a big deal. But she’s not a ‘down the road’ person. She’s right fucking now.” I pace in the other direction, ticking off points as I talk. “I need to quit because having my own company is my dream. I can’t be the man I need to be for London if I’m not the man I want to be for myself. And that starts by telling my boss the truth and taking a chance on myself.”
It’s time to give everything I have to a company that hasn’t even taken flight yet. But the risk will be worth it. I believe that.
I blow out a heavy sigh. “This won’t be easy.”
Sam nods sagely. “It’s like Bodhi tells Johnny in Point Break: ‘If you want the ultimate, you’ve got to be willing to pay the ultimate price.’”
