Page 126 of Since the Night We Met
She gave her one last look, and gently squeezed her shoulder, before walking out of the door.
Siya took a deep breath, trying to steady her nerves. Her palms were damp, and she rubbed them against her thighs as she whispered aloud, ‘You don’t have time to fall apart now. Pull it together.’
She looked down at the envelope in her hand. Her name was scribbled atop the envelope in her mother’s handwriting that she would have recognised anywhere. Her heart hammered inside the rib cage.
The legal document was easier to look at so she pulled out the stack of stamped sheets. She quickly scanned through the familiar phrases and the amended clauses that outlined how this was an updated will belonging to Arohi Kashyap.
Neena was right. Thisisreal. And if this is real, then it’s also real that her father had destroyed the copy in her mother’s vault to hide it from her. Fury surged up so fiercely that for a moment, she couldn’t see straight.
She smoothed the document open on the table as she read.
On the morning of 01st Feb, Arohi has made the following amendments:
As a person of sound mind and under the supervision of Naksh Mehta, LLB (Hons) as her witness, it’s Arohi Kashyap’s will and intention that as soon as her eldest daughter, Siya Kashyap comes of age at eighteen, the copyright and licensing of the all the jewellery designs created by her, by her father Jairaj Kashyap, and her grandfather Dayanand Kashyap would pass to her. She will be the sole license holder of all jewellery designed under the banner and brand of Kashyap Luxe, except those commissioned by independent contractors.
Siya gasped loudly and quickly pressed a palm against her mouth. She read it once, twice, then thrice but the words didn’t change. The realisation hit her like a battering ram. Her mother had left the legacy of three generations to her and she’d never known. The foundation of this company, the original designs, belonged to her.
The weight of it crashed down on her and she closed her eyes. The page lightly crumbled in her hand. Memories collided in her mind of when she’d asked Kartik about her mother’s will and jewels and a flash of irritation shot through her as she remembered his venomous words.
Your mother was so money-minded, Siya. She didn’t care about us. Her will was nothing but asset allocation and wealth distribution among her charities. She only left behind a little inheritance for both of you, but nothing more.
She had swallowed those words, and pushed her anger down, because back then, all she had wanted was his approval, not wealth. But now, the shame of her silence burned hot in her chest. If only she’d fought back then, he might not have been able to keep it buried for so long.
She was short on time, she reminded herself and gathered the courage to open the envelope. There were two letters inside, one for her and another for Kashvi.
The edges were yellowed with age, and though Arohi had a beautiful cursive handwriting, this looked like it was scribbled quickly. She must have written these before sending the amended will to Naksh.
Siya opened the letter addressed to her, and let out a deep exhale as she began reading.
My baby, Siya,
I’m writing this letter just in case I don’t live long enough to see your eighteenth birthday. I want to explain my choices, my mistakes, and my decisions. I hate the idea of imagining a world where I’m not with you and Kashu, but now, after everything, I can’t stop thinking about it.
You must be confused by my decision to leave you the copyright of the designs but not the company ownership directly. That’s because it’s no longer in my power to do so. After your Nani and Nanu passed away, I was too grief-stricken to manage the company and your father convinced me to hand off my seat on the board to him, and I did. It took me a long time to realise that he used my grief against me to take over Kashyap Luxe and now that he’s got everything under control, he has locked me out. No one on the committee board would answer my calls, and none amongst the senior directors are entertaining my request for a meeting. Luckily, Naksh Uncle gave me this way out to make sure your father cannot take advantage of our legacy. So, I’m officially making you the sole licensor for all the designs in the worst-case scenario where I’m gone.
I’ve spent too many years hoping that things would get better, that the man I once loved would come back to me somehow. I told myself that if I just loved him a little harder, if I just kept pretending it wasn’t as bad as it felt, maybe he’d change. But now, I see how wrong and foolish I’d been. Love can’t fix someone who doesn’t want to be fixed, and in trying to do so, I’ve broken too many pieces of myself. That’s why I’ve decided to divorce him.
I should’ve done it sooner, especially when you began noticing things, asking questions, and standing up to him to defend me. You asked me so many times if Daddy hurts me, and I always lied because I didn’t want to worry you. I thought protecting you meant shielding you from the truth, but I see that I only left you confused and stuck in the same web as me.
I loved Kartik. God help me, I loved him so much it blinded me. I wish I could’ve been a better mother to you, one who leftwhen her husband began abusing her, one who left to shield you from his rage and never let his voice be the loudest one in your head. I saw how you shrunk around him, how you learned silence from me as a coping mechanism, and I hate how I still didn’t leave him. But yesterday, I found out he has a son with Sunita and when he threatened my babies, my illusion finally shattered, just like my heart.
A strangled sob escaped as her lips parted in a shaky exhale. A tear slipped free, but she brushed it away quickly, angry at herself for giving Kartik even that. Her vision blurred with tears and she blinked hard to clear the fog.
I see so much of myself in you, Siya. It frightens me more than you’ll ever know because I know how much I tolerated silently. But it also makes me so proud because I see you’re stronger than I ever was. So now I need you to listen to me, not only as my daughter, but also as a woman. Even though I’m leaving behind all of this for you, it’s not the inheritance I’m most desperate to give you. The most precious life lesson I can leave you with is to never lose yourself in the name of love.
People, society, family will tell you love is sacrifice, that it’s meant to be hard, but it’s not true. With the right person, love won’t need to hurt to feel real and you won’t have to bleed to be seen. Don’t let the way your father treated us make you believe this is what love should look and feel like, because it’s not. I don’t want you settling for someone who clipped your wings and told you it was to keep you safe in the cage.
And if you’re reading this, it also means you’re old enough to know now and to choose differently.
Promise me, baby, that when you find love, you’ll let it in but never let it replace the love you must have for yourself first. You owe it to yourself to choose yourself every singleday. You deserve the best this life can offer and you’re allowed to demand it. And when you do fall in love, I hope it’s with someone who sees all of you and accepts you with open arms. If you find it, don’t let it go.
I hope one day you’ll understand why I couldn’t leave sooner, and maybe then you can forgive me. They say death comes for us all, but I’m not afraid of that. I’m scared of what life will do to you if I leave without giving you a piece of me to hold onto, that’s why you’ll find my sapphire ring with the first copy of my will in my vault. Keep it as a reminder of my love. You’re my first baby, my brightest star, my most precious gem. You are more than enough, and don’t you ever let your father or anyone else make you doubt that.
I love you, meri ladli bacchi. Even if I’m not there to say it, please know that I always will. Take care of that fierce, bright heart of yours. A part of me will always live in you, beaming with pride for my daughter, my blood, my legacy.
With all my love and regrets,
Maa.
