Page 58 of That Baby (That Boy 3)
He spots Phillip, who is still sitting on the folding chair, sobbing.
Danny slides on his knees in front of Phillip.
Phillip looks up for a moment and barely shakes his head, letting Danny know that I didn't make it.
Danny puts his head down. He's sobbing too.
I watch as he reaches up and puts his hand on top of Phillip's.
I'm drawn back to the screen.
I love them in entirely different ways, but I love them both with all my heart.
I put my hand on top of Danny's, hoping I can console them.
I look at the TV and see myself. I look faded and faint, but I'm standing there next to them with my hand at the top of the pile.
It's fitting, really.
That it looks like this. Our hands stacked on top of each other, looking like we're getting ready to break as we go out onto a sports field before a game.
On what I know will be the last time I ever touch either one of them.
Danny
After a while, the nurse who helped me find Phillip gently relocates us to a waiting room.
Phillip's parents are here.
"How is she?" Mrs. Mac asks, but Phillip's body language says everything as he plops down into a chair taking up the same position he had in the other one.
"She had a placental abruption. Lost too much blood," I say quietly, repeating one of the few shreds of information Phillip was muttering, but knowing the look on our faces say more than my words could convey.
Mrs. Mac's hand immediately goes to her face, sadness washing over the concern that was there before. Mr. Mac, who was standing, sits down very slowly, grief written all over his face.
"Oh my god," Mrs. Mac slowly says, dropping to a chair next to him as the reality of Jadyn's death sinks in.
The sounds of the busy hospital blur around me as I sit next to Phillip not knowing what to do.
My phone buzzes with a text from Lori asking where I am and if I'll stop and pick up milk on the way home. I realize that she has no idea what's happened.
I start to send her a text to let her know Jadyn was in an accident.
But I can't bring myself to do it.
Part of me keeps thinking this can't really be happening.
Can't possibly be real.
"Phillip Mackenzie?" a nurse announces to the waiting room.
Phillip doesn't even look up.
I stand and point to him. "Uh, he's right here."
"Sir, could you come with me?" she says to him. "The doctor would like to speak with you."
Phillip shuts his eyes tightly and shakes his head. "I can't," he mutters. "I can't."
I squeeze his shoulder. "Come on, Mac. We'll do it together."
His eyes fill with tears again. "That's what I said to her at her parents' funeral. When she didn't want to drop the roses in their graves."
He stands up and together we numbly follow the nurse to a small room.
We sit in the little white cubicle for at least fifteen minutes.
Waiting.
For what, I have no idea.
What happens when someone dies like this?
Dies.
The word grips my heart and squeezes, the pain intense.
I want to say something to comfort Phillip, but I know nothing will.
So we just sit together in silence.
I jump when the door opens and a doctor wearing clean blue scrubs enters the room.
"I'm Dr. Evans," he says, shaking both our hands and smiling at us.
I want to punch the fucking smile off his face. How can he be smiling at a time like this?
But then he says three miraculous words. "We revived her."
"What?! Really?!" Phillip says, hope flooding him as he stands up, hugs me, hugs him, and starts crying again.
"We've been working on her since she flatlined. She's not out of the woods yet, but we were able to bring her back and get her stabilized."
"Can I see her?" Phillip asks. "Is she going to be okay?"
"She's in critical but stable condition. She lost a lot of blood, but I did want to let you know that we were able to stop the bleeding without doing a hysterectomy. She's so young. I figured if she survived, she'd probably want to have more children."
As soon as the doctor mentions more children, Phillip takes in a sharp breath. He hasn't said a word about the baby and I've too afraid to ask.
"What about the baby?" Phillip says in a tone barely above a whisper.
"I don't know about the baby. I was only responsible for your wife," he replies. "And to answer your other question, she's being moved to the ICU now. Once she's set up there, you can go see her. She's heavily sedated and we're giving her multiple blood products. She's also intubated and we'll need to keep her that way until she's hemodynamically stable. The ICU staff will be monitoring her overnight, checking her blood levels, blood pressure, and heart rate."
"So, she's going to be okay?" I ask, mostly because I have no freaking idea what hemo--die--whatever means.
"Like I said, she's in critical condition, so the next twenty-four hours are crucial. We kept her oxygenated while we worked on her, but we never know how a patient's internal organs and brain will react to that stress. We'll know more tomorrow."
When the doctor leaves, Phillip puts his arm around me, his hand in a fist.
The Man Hug.
"Screw that," I say, wrapping both my arms around him, giving him the girliest hug ever.
But I don't care.
Because she's not dead.
"They revived her," he cries over and over again. "They revived her."
Danny
I don't leave Jadyn's side.
I can't.
They aren't letting anyone other than Phillip and me into the ICU. I finally told Lori what happened, but told her to stay home with Devaney. I have enough to worry about without dealing with her right now.
Phillip's parents and my parents have been here off and on. They've been rotating shifts to sleep, take care of Angel, and get Phillip and I to eat.
I walk down the hall to give them an update--which is nothing yet--and am assaulted by flashes of cameras and reporters.
"Are you playing today, Danny?"
I don't even know what day it is. Sunday? Game day?
I stop and look at them. All they care about is football. And right now, football is the last thing on my mind.
But then I have a flashback. Laying on the hammock with Jay on the day after prom.
Greatness is in you. Don't you know that? You're doing what you've always wanted, what you're meant to do.
Her friendship and unwavering support helped give me the confidence to do so many things.
I step into the nurse's office, realizing that I never did text Coach to let him know what happened. I call the stadium and let them know I won't make the game.
Then I deal with the reporters.
My response is simple. "It's true that I love my job. But I'm a husband, a father, and a friend, before I'm a quarterback."
Friendship--the people who touch your heart--that's what matters most in our lives. Something I knew before but is now been permanently engrained in me.
I'm thankful that after I reply the hospital security herds the reporters outside.
I go down the hall to grab a cup of coffee and find Lori in the waiting room.
"How's she doing?" She gives me a tight hug and even though things between us have been strained, I'm grateful for it.
"No change yet. How's my little monkey doing this morning?"
"Good," she says. "She misses her daddy. What are you going to do about the game today?"
"I'm not playing. I don't give a shit about football, Lori. I'm not leaving until she wakes up. Until I know she'll be okay."
Lori frowns. "So, that's it? You're choosing her over your family?"
"My family? What are you talking about? No, I'm choosing her over a game."
"Football is your career, Danny. It's how you provide for you
r family. What if they fire you?"
"You're worried about the money? You've gotta be fucking shitting me. If my job and the money are more important to you than our friendship, then all of a sudden you've developed some fucked up values. Is that why you came here? To ask me about the game? Do you even care about her any more?"
"Do you wish you were Phillip? Do you love her?"
I shake my head at her, not believing she'd bring this up again. Not now. But I say calmly, "Of course, I love her. She and Phillip are my best friends."
"Well, if she wakes up, maybe you should just sleep with her and get it over with," she snaps.
"Where is this even coming from? Why are you bringing this bullshit up again?"
"You're putting your family's future in jeopardy because of her. Our future. What am I supposed to think? Maybe if you slept with her it would ruin you for once and for all."
I don't want to deal with this right now, her ridiculous jealousy. But she needs to know. I need her to know and understand why I told Jay that. Why I lied to her in the hammock. Maybe it will make a difference.
"Sit down," I say sternly.
She sits.
