Page 22 of That Baby (That Boy 3)
"Um," I say, feeling ridiculous for screaming. "I, uh, thought I saw something."
"Like what?"
I let out a big sigh then open the pantry and show him.
He jumps back. "What the hell is the gnome doing in there? And why is he holding a noose?"
"He's threatening us!" I say, slamming the door shut. "He scared the shit out of me! How does he keep moving?"
Phillip narrows his eyes. "Danny was in our dining room last night after dinner. He said he was looking at our wedding photos."
"The ones your mom decided to put into all the frames we got as wedding gifts and display all over the dining room?"
He glazes right over my irritation with his mother. "Yes, exactly. And he was looking sneaky."
"Do you think he's the one who's been moving it?"
"It would make sense," Phillip says.
"And it's a whole lot more comforting than the alternative."
"What's the alternative?"
"That the gnome is slowly working it's way into the kitchen so it can find a knife to kill us in our sleep."
"You've watched too many scary movies."
"You and Danny used to make me watch them. I hate them!"
Phillip wraps his wet arms around me. "I loved them because when you were scared, you always snuggled up next to me."
"That's because Danny was just as scared as I was. If I recall, he was snuggled up to you too. Although, I'm sure he would deny it."
"So, what do you think?" he smirks, holding the gnome in front of me. "Time for some payback?"
"Definitely," I say, my hand sliding under his towel.
"Let's put the gnome back in the drawer, so Danny doesn't know we know he's moving it."
Phillip's brushing his teeth while I curl my hair. "I don't know, Phillip. I'm not sure it was Danny. How would he even know to do it?"
Phillip has a mouthful of toothpaste and is talking through it. "I maybe told him you thought it stomped on the wrapping paper."
"Were you making fun of me, Phillip?"
"I was maybe laughing a little."
"A little?"
"Fine, I thought it was pretty damn funny. Danny was laughing his ass off."
"Then it was definitely him. We need to get back at him by putting the gnome somewhere only he would find it."
"His workout room," Phillip says. "It's going to be done in a couple days."
"Yeah, but Lori is going to do yoga and work out there too."
"Hmmm," Phillip says.
"Oh! I know! The sauna. Lori said Danny is all excited for it, but she's bummed she can't go in it while she's pregnant due to the heat."
"That's perfect," Phillip says. "You're brilliant."
March 28th
Batshit crazy.
Nicky: Will you please text Macy?
Me: Uh, sure. Any reason?
Nicky: Did Phillip tell you that she won't see me or talk to me?
Me: No, he didn't. He's out of town today visiting a client.
Nicky: I'm dying.
Me: Did she choose Peter?
Nicky: Not yet. Supposedly she's not seeing or talking to either one of us until she makes up her mind. She wants to see who she misses.
Me: And how long is that expected to take?
Nicky: I have no freaking idea. Honestly, I don't think she does either.
Me: Remember the advice Phillip gave you?
Nicky: About not sleeping with her until she decided?
Me: Yeah. Did you?
Nicky: I may have slipped a few times. Well, quite a few times. Okay, so I could only resist once. Look, I'm not this kind of guy. I've never screwed around with a girl who had a boyfriend. Let alone someone who's engaged.
Me: What about Karly?
Nicky: She told me she didn't have a boyfriend.
Me: And Madeline?
Nicky: They were sort of broke up. So fine, I have, but not on purpose.
Me: Accidental cheating, Nicky. That's why I love you.
Nicky: Shut up. I don't run a background check on every girl I meet. We're getting off topic here. YOU NEED TO TEXT HER AND FIND OUT WHAT THE HELL SHE'S THINKING BEFORE I GO BATSHIT CRAZY!! I'm seriously ready to do something crazy here!
Me: Sometimes crazy is good. But hang on. I'll text her.
I glance at the clock, noting it's nearly three. I can picture my bridesmaid, sitting on her bed in the sorority house, her bubblegum pink toes dangling off the bed and her dark brown waves pushed over one shoulder as she studies. With her piercing blue eyes and great body, she bears an uncanny resemblance to a young Megan Fox, only she has an adorable southern twang.
Me: Hey, Macy!! What's up? I haven't talked to you in forever! Do I get to see you at Lori's shower?
Macy: Did Nick ask you to text me?
Me: Would it be a good thing if he did?
Macy: I miss him.
Me: He misses you. He's going crazy. Actually, he said he's going BATSHIT CRAZY.
Macy: Aww :( I hate that I'm doing this to him. Peter too. He's such a sweetheart. He just . . .
Me: Isn't doing it for you?
Macy: Kind of. Everything is so hot with Nick. We have this amazing, incredible chemistry.
Me: And Peter?
Macy: He's my best friend.
Me: Chemistry?
Macy: Not through the roof like with Nick. That's why I'm so confused. Peter is a good guy. He'd be a great dad. A good husband. I know exactly what I'm getting with him. With Nick, I don't even know if we'd end up married. Do I risk giving up my engagement to a great guy for a possible relationship with Nick?
Me: Nick said you aren't supposed to talk to either of them. Have you?
Macy: Peter isn't abiding by the rule. Does that mean he loves me more?
Me: It's means he doesn't want to lose you. He's fighting for you.
Macy: But Nick isn't?
Me: Nick is trying to play by the rules you set. He's being respectful, if you ask me.
Macy: OMG!
Me: What?!
Macy: Some guy is outside the house with a big glittery I LOVE YOU sign. It's so adorable. And he's blaring music. I can't quite make out the song.
Me: Who is the sign for?
Macy: I don't know. Let me take a closer look.
Macy: OMG!! OMG!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!! IT'S HIM!!
Me: Which him?!
Macy: NICKY!!!! Holy shit! I gotta go!
CHAPTER NINE
Dear Baby Mac,
Now you are the size of a lemon and apparently you are sucking your thumb in there. We aren't going to find out what sex you are, but get this. I just read that if you are super hungry when you're pregnant--as in hungry like your dad and Danny used to be when they were teenagers--that research shows you could be expecting a boy.
I'd be happy with either a boy or a girl. I just pray that you're healthy.
But . . . I kinda think you are a boy.
Well, I did. Until Lori started telling me about different ways you can tell what you are having. These ways are called Old Wives' Tales. Which means they are like a fairy tale and you don't really know if they are true or not. But if you are a boy you failed.
