I can’t wait. We’re having a candlelit dinner on our private deck that overlooks the lake.
I call Mom. When she answers, I say, “Hey!”
“Wow. You already sound more mature. I feel like I haven't talked to you in years. ”
“It’s only been a week, Mom. ”
I hear Tommy talking in the background.
“Tommy says to tell you we all miss you. So how are things?” she asks in an odd, high voice.
“You seem really happy, Mom. Are you pregnant?”
She laughs. “No, I'm not. So you and Brook have been together in France for a while. So has he told you he loves you? Have you slept with him?”
“Mom. ”
“Keatyn, I can tell by your voice the answer to both of those questions is yes. ”
“Last night was the first time. How do you even know that?”
“Well you called me instead of texting me, so I know something’s going on. Plus, I can hear it in your voice. ”
“Hmm. Weird. ”
“Oh, honey, was it bad? Is that why you’re calling? That’s not unusual, you know. First times aren’t always that great. ”
“I was drunk at a party my first time,” Kym says loudly from somewhere in the room. “It literally lasted six seconds. I counted. I mean most guys could ride a bull longer. ”
I hear a whole bunch of people laughing.
“Ohmigawd, Mom, do you have me on speaker?”
She doesn’t reply. Instead, James says, “Well, my first time . . . ”
“Stop! Please! My ears are bleeding! And it wasn’t my first time anyway. It’s all good. ”
“What?!” Mom shrills. “What do you mean? Did you have sex with Sander and not tell me?”
Shit. Why can’t my brain ever edit my mouth?
“Take me off speaker, please. ”
Tommy says, “Baby, it’s okay. You don’t need to be embarrassed. All of us have had sex. ”
Kym laughs. “Some of us more recently than others. ”
James starts coughing and laughing.
Kym says, “What? I’m in a slump. So, Miss Keatyn, did you and Sander do the deed or what?”
“No, we did not. ”
I hear Mom suck in her breath. “Who then?!”
“It was Cush, okay. ”
Kym whistles. “Good choice. That boy is a hottie. ”
“Don’t say that,” Mom chimes in. “She dated him for like two days. ”
“It was longer than that, Mom. ”
“I’m still shocked. I thought we agreed you’d wait until you were in love. ”
“Trust me, it wasn’t really my plan. Nothing like what I’d scripted. What can I say; my life hasn’t been following my scripts lately. ” Well, that’s not exactly true. That night with Cush at the hotel was very much the way I had scripted it, but Mom doesn’t need to hear those details. She just wants to think I was in love. “He told me he loved me, doesn’t that count?”
“You were mad at Brook, weren’t you?” Tommy says.
“Well, yeah. It was after that party we came to. ”
“Did you love him?”
“No, but I was tired of waiting for B. And when he ditched me and told me he was hanging with girls, I was just done. And it didn't suck. It was a little awkward, but it didn’t suck. And I'm kinda glad. It's not like B had been waiting for me. ”
“Well, what matters now is that you're together. You sound happy,” Kym gushes.
“I am happy. He brought me to this beautiful vineyard outside Bordeaux, and we got this like private cabin thing, and it was perfect. Not the beach, but perfect. ”
“Did he tell you he loved you last night, too?” Mom asks dreamily. I can tell she and Kym are getting all gooey over a love story.
“No, he told me a few days ago. I was dumb though. I cried. ”
“Why did you cry?” Kym wants to know.
“I don't know. I accidentally said I love you. So I was embarrassed. But he was happy, and he told me too. So it was nice. ”
“You’re being safe, right?” Mom asks.
“Yes, Mom, of course. We haven’t been in any big cities. I’m fluent in French, and I know how to not look like a tourist. ”
Everyone bursts out laughing.
“What?”
Mom tries to stop giggling.
Finally Tommy says, “Safe. As in condom usage. ”
“Oh, ick!”
“Ick?” Mom says. “Does that mean you’re not? Oh, honey, I know you think you’re in love, but you don't want a baby at your . . . ”
Oh, please make this conversation stop, or I may never be able to go home and face my family.
“Mom, and the rest of you, I’m going to say this once. We are being safe in all ways. ”
“Good to hear, but when you get back, you need to go on the pill. Just to be extra cautious. ”
“Fine. ”
“So, wait,” Mom says. “Did you say you’re in Bordeaux? Keatyn Elizabeth, you can’t just go gallivanting all over Europe without telling me!”
“Yeah, well about that. It just sort of all fell together. Brooklyn and I decided to stay in Europe all summer. We have it all planned out. We’re going to visit some of the best surfing spots on France’s and Spain’s west coasts. Then we’re gonna hit the Canary Islands. Then, after that, Damian invited us to tour with him for a few weeks. I won’t be home until right before my party. ”
“All summer? Don’t you think you should have asked me first?”
“Um, yeah, of course. But I figured you’d be fine with it. I know my way around, and like I said, we have it all planned out. ”
“When did you decide this?”
“We just decided. We’re young, and how often are we going to get to take off a whole summer? Plus, honestly, I need some time away from my friends. Things have been crazy since Sander and I broke up. ”
“Well, yes,” James says. “When you bring your boyfriend home drugged, it does seem so. ”