Page 83 of Journey to the Elderoak
“What happens if I get there and I fail?” Ava asked.
Jorrar said, “If you’re able to find your way back, you go home and try again next year.”
“And if you can’t?” Casimir said.
“You lose your mind and the forest takes you.”
Ava popped out of her seat. She wanted to run away. To run to her room and start the day over and pretend she never heard this news. Her lips were going numb, and her heart was beating out of her chest. She was going to have a panic attack in front of the whole group. She tried to leave, but her legs wouldn’t obey. She couldn’t do this, wasn’t ready yet. She needed more time, more training.
“I’m not ready…I’m not ready,” she repeated to herself.
Her head spun as she gripped the back of her chair and tried to focus. Air. She needed air. At some point Casimir had risen and was talking to her, but she couldn’t hear him. The room darkened as dizziness took over and a wave of nausea washed through her.
“Ava, breathe,” Casimir said from far away, as if she was in a well. Her vision faded and she swayed on her feet.
Then the room went dark.
26
Voices whispered in the distance, though Ava didn’t know who they belonged to. Her head was on someone’s lap and a hand stroked her hair. A cool rag was being dabbed across her forehead, her face and her neck.
She opened her eyes, vision clearing, and Casimir’s face came into view.
“Where am I?” she whispered as he continued to stroke her hair.
“In my suite,” said Thorne, sitting in a chair on her right. “It was the closest.”
“Where’s everyone else?” she asked.
“They’re still in the dining hall, giving you space,” her brother said.
She sat up and Casimir moved closer, rubbing her back. “I can’t do it.”
“Yes, you can,” they said in unison.
Thorne pulled his chair close and grabbed her hands. She raised her eyes, meeting his. “Ava, listen to me. Youcando this. You must.”
“I’m not strong enough. I’m not ready. I—I need more time.”
“Where is that woman who never gave up on the obstacle course? Or the one who fights and argues with me every step of the way? The one who rode a dangerous sea monster with no fear? The one who gives Raine’s shit right back to him?Thatwoman is strong enough.”
She sat in silence, unsure what to say as she mulled on Casimir’s words.
“Ava,” said Thorne. “Youarefae. Take your rightful place.Demandit. Do you remember what I told you at the tavern?” She nodded. “We don’t do anything alone. But more importantly, you belong to us. All of us.” He brought his face closer to hers. “What would Mother say?”
“Crush them,” she whispered.
“What are you going to do to Andras and Deidamia? The ones who stole everything from you. Who are trying to steal more,” his voice rose. She had never seen him like this. This was the king. The leader of her kingdom. Of her home.
Herhome.
Fury rose as she thought of what she’d lost at their hands. Of what else she stood to lose in the future should she fail at her task. She was terrified of facing the Elderoak journey, but she was more terrified of losing this. Her friends and her family. The peace and belonging she’d found at last. And that’s what she would lose if she didn’t do this.
Whateveryonewould lose.
“I’m going to crush them,” she answered with determination as she stood.
They watched her. The king and the general, pride on their faces.
