Page 35 of Journey to the Elderoak
Ava bit her lip and blew out a breath as another dying soldier called out to her, then another.
“Will you hold my hand, Your Highness?”
“Will you stay with me?”
Ava rose, gave Pax a squeeze on the shoulder, and went to the next soldier. She spent hours sitting with the dying warriors, comforting them in their last moments. At some point she saw Casimir doing the same thing, despite him barely being able to walk, but she was too numb to acknowledge him. Lost in a fog of grief.
They all wanted solace as they moved on to the afterlife; wanted someone to hold their hand, to sing to them. Ava committed Pax’s prayer to memory and recited it to every man and woman who passed. She’d had a sense of camaraderie with these sailors and even though she hadn’t known them long, the last couple of weeks on the ship had brought her close to the crew.
Zeph was gone.
She wished she’d gotten to know her sooner. Stationed at Ava’s door since the day she arrived, they’d barely spoken other than cordial greetings until this trip. The cook from the ship’s kitchen was gone. So were several other sailors she had laughed and joked around with at dinner. Ones who had cheered her on as she fought Pax in the ring. Sailors who treated her like a friend instead of royalty.
By the time the day was over and night had fallen, Ava found a quiet place away from everyone on the back of the ship. Hiding behind a stack of crates, she slumped to the ground and let herself lose control as she put her head in her hands and cried.
Exhausted and numb, she wept for her friends, for the future of their kingdom, and for what was to come. How many more people would they lose? Ava had already lost so much. Most of her family, her only friend back home. And now that she’d found her place, she feared she may lose even more.
She didn’t know how long she cried, but at some point Raine appeared and sat beside her, silent. He reached over and held her hand and she laid her head on his shoulder as she let the tears continue to fall.
Raine cleared his throat, trying to hide his own tears as he laid his head atop hers in silent support. The two of them sat together under the night sky, and grieved until they had no tears left.
13
“Good,” said Quinn as the dagger Ava flung hit the edge of the target at the other end of the training ring.
“I’m nowhere close to hitting the center,” Ava lamented.
“At least you’re hitting the target now.”
A week after they’d arrived back in Mosshaven and she was still struggling with daggers, despite Zeph’s attempts to help on the ship. Ava much preferred the ease of the sword or bow and arrow.
Ava sighed. “Yeah, I guess.”
Quinn crossed her arms. Her long black hair swished in its intricate braid as she scrutinized Ava. “What’s up with you today?”
Ava shook out her arms. “Sorry. I haven’t been sleeping well recently. I’m fine.”
Quinn strode to the target, retrieving Ava’s dagger.
What she didn’t tell Quinn was that over the last week, she’d begun to have nightmares. The trauma she’d experienced at the hands of the daemons was starting to make itself known,cracks in her carefully constructed box threatening to reveal her grief and fear that she still scrambled to shove away.
Quinn turned around, mischief in her upturned brown eyes. Before Ava could prepare herself, Quinn had her in a hold with a dagger to her throat faster than seemed possible. Though a couple of inches shorter than Ava’s tall frame, Quinn was much stronger and quicker. Plus, she was fae and Ava was still human.
“Shit,” Ava muttered.
“You weren’t prepared. That’s what happens when you’re tired and lose focus.” Quinn tightened her grip on Ava’s arm and pulled the practice dagger tighter to her throat. “Now get out of this hold. And don’t hold back this time. Hurt me.”
Ava shoved down the memory of Corvus in this same position, and used her free hand to yank down on Quinn’s forearm. It took all her strength, and it was obvious Quinn allowed it. She ducked under Quinn’s arm and twisted it against her back pressing hard until her grip loosened on the dagger. Ava plucked the dagger from Quinn’s hand and pointed it at her as she kept hold of her arm.
“Good,” said Quinn.
Quinn swept a leg back, catching Ava’s own and yanking it forward, landing her on her back. The dagger fell to the ground and she wheezed as the air was knocked from her lungs.
“But not good enough,” Quinn said, standing above her. “Once you get out of the hold, you need to get that dagger and back away as quickly as possible before your enemy can get a hold of you again.”
Ava nodded, unable to speak as she continued to gasp for air. After a few moments, she crawled off the ground and stood. “I’m not fast enough as a human.”
“I know, but you must do better than whateverthatwas. You think anything you might face on the journey will care that you don’t have your fae abilities yet?”
