Page 84 of When There Was You
“I’ve had help, thank God. My parents and sister are saints. They love that little girl, and she loves them. But I try not to take it for granted because Emmy is my responsibility. It’s fine for her to sleep over at Mimi and PopPop’s house sometimes, and they enjoy having her…as long as it’s within reason and I’m not taking advantage of their goodwill.”
I’m floored. Butch gets thrown a curveball and he hits it out of the damn park. My parents get a curveball and forfeit the game.
“She’s the center of my world, but I’m also hers. I’m who she relies on. I’m where the buck stops. And she’s a handful. A spunky, precocious, tiny female who scares me to death.”
A small smile inches across my lips.
“And I have no earthly idea what I’m doing, but I try my best. She does well in school, takes dance, works on cars with me, parades everywhere in dresses and crowns, and I attempt to keep her in line while not giving in to her every whim. She probably knows I’m wrapped around her little finger.”
Butch is laying his heart out to me. He’s obviously smitten, caring, and…sheltering…and it’s all so beautiful.
“Does she ask about her mom? Miss her?”
Butch grimaces. “She doesn’t remember her mother, and I’ve watched her like a hawk for years looking for trauma or emotional damage, wondering whether she needs outside help or to talk about it. So far, I don’t see anything. But here’s the other thing. I’m very protective of Emmy. I don’t want…” He clears his throat. “I haven’t introduced her to anyone that might leave her. Hurt her. Put her in the position to love someone who doesn’t love her back.”
My chest seizes again.“Of course,”I whisper. “That’s why you didn’t tell me about her. You’re rightfully cautious.”
“In all honesty, I was going to tell you soon. I know that sounds like bullshit, but I promise it’s not. And this is nothow I wanted you to find out about my daughter. I’m damn sorry about that.”
“I get it.” I do. I don’t like it much, but it’s understandable.
“Emmy hasn’t gotten close to women aside from my mother, sister, and grandmothers, and a part of me knows that’s not…maybe that’s not what’s best for her? I’m a man. I know man stuff. She’s a girl. She needs to know girl stuff. And while some of that can probably wait, I’m thinking it’s important for her to have that soon.”
Yeah. Before her period comes. Sooner, really—the school years can be brutal. I don’t say anything, though; I just nod.
“I like you, Jacqui. A lot. I want to let you into my life, to pursue whatever’s happening here. I haven’t experienced this,” he gestures between us, “in years, which tells me it’s something special. I trust you.” His hand skates toward mine then stalls. “I want you.”
“Daddy?” Emmy interrupts, peering around the doorway.
“What do you need, sweetheart?”
She shuffles over, still dragging that teddy bear in one hand. “Can I have a snack?”
“Sure, baby. How about an apple?”
She nods, her curious gaze fastening on me. “Want some apple too?”
I smile at her. “No thanks, but that’s nice of you to offer. I bet you got those good manners from your daddy.”
She shakes her head, a big grin crossing her face. “My PopPop.”
“Hey!” Butch chides, grabbing her like a rag doll, hefting her into his arms, and tickling her.
Emmy squeals with pure delight, her giggles echoing in the kitchen. She’s breathless when he relents.
“Pay the toll, kid.”
She dutifully plants a kiss on his cheek.
He sets her down and she runs off gripping a ruby apple her father rinsed under the tap.
Butch’s smile fades, as if he’s remembering our sobering conversation. He pours us more coffee and sits back down. “You’re awfully quiet, Sundance. I’ve laid a ton on you here, but can you throw me a bone?”
My thoughts remain scattered. “I’m not sure what to say. It’s...a lot to absorb.”
He hums.
“Emmy is adorable. The two of you together…” I grasp for words. “It’s heartwarming. Admirable. I respect the hell out of you for how you’ve stepped up as a father.”
