Page 160 of When There Was You
My eyes scan his hand and come up empty. “No one’s stolen your heart yet?”
He stares at me for one molten moment. “I think we both know one woman did.”
Thump. Thump thump. Thump thump thump.“You were stupid to let her get away.”
He nods slowly, thoughtfully. “Agreed.”
I’m relieved our friends aren’t listening to us. Mick and I have gotten shockingly intimate—and honest—in just a few sentences. My heart thumps erratically, traitorously.
Mick breaks the spell, motioning to two chairs. “Tell me about the great things you’re doing in the world. I want to hear it all.”
“I think we all do,” Remy echoes.
I start my recap, glancing at each person around the table. Remy and Sherry, Vinny and Stephanie, Jeremy, Mick, and Kendra. It evolves into each of us providing updates on our lives, reminiscing, and sharing Terry stories. There’s laughter, good-natured ribbing, the poignant, familiar reminder these individuals are my first true family—the ones who made me whole, gave me life, and bestowed gifts too numerous to count.
The crowd thins as the reception comes to a close. We stand after two hours of reuniting. It’s natural, intimate, soul-fueling. Terry would approve, despite the circumstances. I gaze fondly upon these four men who grew up playing Young America baseball with their pal, Terry, friends until the end.
Remy grips Mick and Jeremy each on the shoulder. “Let’s go say goodbye to Terry’s parents.”
The guys nod in unspoken agreement, and the two wives squeeze their husbands’ hands and walk toward the exit, leaving the remaining six of us to say our goodbyes.
We start the rounds, and it’s surprisingly difficult.
When it’s Remy turn, he hugs me tight, and I don’t miss Mick’s gaze fastened on us. I get a hit of nicotine and it damn near transports me to 1982.
“It’s done my heart good to see you, Jacqui,” Remy murmurs. “That you’re flourishing, doing this writing stuff you always wanted, and living a good life. It’s...” He releases me, tapping a hand against his chest. “It’s awesome.”
Seeing you healed something inside me too.I blink the emotion away.
“I’m grateful I didn’t drag you down with all my bullshit,” he adds, his head cocking in his signature way. “I’m clearly a selfish prick consumed with my own shit. But I really am sorry.”
“I appreciate that,” I manage. “I’ve hated hating you all these years. You were one of my favorite people…and one of the most important in my life.”
Remy’s throat works.
“I’m relieved you’re doing well too. And about to be a damn father.” I shake my head. Watch out, world.
“Weird, right?”
“Rem?”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t fuck it up, okay?”
He snorts, salutes.
And that leaves Mick.
Saying goodbye to him is the hardest of all.
His gray pools find my amber, holding them captive like they always have. He’s still so fucking handsome, still has some claim on this stupid contraption beating in my chest.
“I’m so proud of you, Jax. For pursuing your dream and embracing a new life far from here. I’ve only ever wanted you to thrive and seeing you the way you are now brings me a sense of…peace.”
“I feel it too, about you—and Remy. It’s given me closure, healing, whatever’s been missing.” I’m grappling for the right words. “I gave you my heart and it’s been hard to repair it. Really hard. I wasn’t even sure at times that I could.”
He looks anguished. I’m guessing it was similar for him.
