Page 87 of Love, Second Chances and Other Nonsense
And then Eric died. Millie hadn’t been the only one devastated at his death. My own father had always been affectionate but distant. He’d buried himself in the family business, only present for family events when my mother insisted. It had been Eric who had taken me fishing and camping when I was a child. Who taught me to use his tools and let me work on his projects with him, inspiring my love of working with my hands. Eric had coached my sports teams. He’d taught me to ride a bike.
And Millie had been part of all those memories. We’d been bound together in our grief and suddenly, she needed me again. Just like before. And my mother had capitalized on that, reminding me that Eric would have wanted me to take care of Millie.
I grab my thermos and take a long drink, leaning against the counter. The truth is uncomfortable, but I need to face it: I was afraid. Afraid of my mother’s disappointment, of Millie’s tears, of the disapproval of everyone who’d known me sincechildhood. I’d spent my entire life being told that my worth was tied to how well I took care of Millie, how perfectly I fulfilled my mother’s vision for my life. Breaking free of that meant facing the possibility that maybe they wouldn’t love me anymore if I wasn’t who they wanted me to be.
I return to work, attacking the floor with new determination. No more. I am not responsible for Millie’s happiness. I never was. That burden was unfairly placed on me by adults who should have known better, who should have let me be a child instead of Millie’s keeper. I’m not responsible for her well-being, for her emotional state, for her future. If she has problems, they are not mine to fix.
The realization feels like a weight lifting, like taking a full breath after years of constriction. I’m not responsible for Millie. I never was.
I swing the crowbar again, feeling a surge of something like freedom with each impact. I think about all the times I was made to feel selfish for wanting my own life, for having interests and friendships separate from Millie. I think about my mother’s manipulative tears, her guilt-inducing reminders of Millie’s health struggles. I think about how she used those to control me, to shape me into the person she wanted me to be rather than letting me become who I actually am.
“No more,” I say aloud to the empty kitchen, my voice startling in the stillness. “I reject it. All of it.”
My mother can be disappointed with me all she wants. She can cry and rage and tell me I’ve failed as a son, as a man. I don’t care. I am not going to live my life according to Paula Kelley’s plan ever again. I am not going to sacrifice my happiness, my integrity, my love for someone else’s comfort or convenience.
I set down the crowbar and stand in the middle of the demolished kitchen, breathing hard from exertion and emotion. I reject all of them: my mother, Millie, the entire life that thepeople of my childhood wanted me to live. I reject the guilt they used to control me, the obligation they manufactured, the responsibility they unfairly placed on my shoulders.
I am Adam. Not Paula’s son or Millie’s protector or Mount Pella’s golden boy. Just Adam. And that’s enough.
I work until the kitchen floor is cleared of all the damaged materials, until there’s nothing left but what can be saved and the space where new things will go. It feels right. It feels like progress. It feels like hope.
30
Chapter 30
Caitlin
I set Luna’s carrier carefully on the table in Daniel’s exam room. She’s calmer than I expected, just watching me with those unblinking green eyes. I slip my finger through the door, and she rewards me with a sandpapery lick. It’s crazy how attached I’ve become to this matted ball of fur in just a few short days.
The door swings open, and Daniel walks in, all professional in his white coat but still with that charming smile that instantly makes people comfortable. “So this is my newest patient,” he says, setting a clipboard down on the exam table.
“This is Luna,” I confirm, unlatching the carrier.
Daniel opens the carrier door and speaks in that special soft voice people reserve for babies and animals. “Okay, Luna. Come on out, beautiful. Let’s get a look at you.”
To my surprise, Luna emerges without hesitation and immediately begins rubbing against Daniel’s hand. “Traitor,”I mutter. “She never stopped glaring at Adam, but you she instantly trusts?”
Daniel laughs. “What can I say? Animals love me.” He runs expert hands over Luna’s body, feeling for abnormalities while she purrs like a small motor. “So you said you found her at your grandmother’s place?”
“Yeah, in the garden shed. Adam and I were checking out the property and heard her inside. She seemed friendly enough, and I couldn’t just leave her there.”
“Well, she’s certainly latched onto you.” Daniel checks Luna’s teeth, ears, and eyes with practiced efficiency. “No tags, no microchip that I can feel. She’s been living rough for a while judging by these mats, but she’s definitely been someone’s pet before. She’s too comfortable being handled.”
“Do you think someone abandoned her?” The thought makes my stomach clench.
“Hard to say. She could have escaped, gotten lost.” He carefully examines the small tear in her ear. “This is an old injury, healed fine. Overall, she’s in surprisingly good shape for a stray. Underweight but not dangerously so, no signs of disease, parasites, or serious health issues. She just needs regular meals, some grooming, and a lot of love.”
Relief floods through me. “So she’s okay?”
“She’s great, actually. Healthy teeth, clear eyes, good heartbeat.” Daniel scratches under Luna’s chin, and her purr kicks up another notch. “I’d put her at about three years old. We’ll give her the standard vaccines today, and you should bring her back in a few weeks to be spayed.”
He prepares the vaccines while I hold Luna, who seems blissfully unaware of what’s coming. When the needle goes in, she barely flinches, just gives Daniel a mildly offended look before settling back into my arms.
“She’s a tough girl,” Daniel says with approval. “I’ll have Alice set you up with some samples of good quality food and a grooming kit for those mats. Go slow with those, a little each day so you don’t stress her out.”
As he makes notes on Luna’s new chart, his expression shifts to something more thoughtful. “Hey, I’ve been meaning to mention something to you. It might be nothing, but I thought it could help with Louise’s Table.”
“Oh? I’m all ears.” I settle Luna back in her carrier, where she curls up with a disgruntled meow.
