Page 49 of Love, Second Chances and Other Nonsense
“Mom, Dad,” Lauren attempts, “maybe not here?”
They fall into frigid silence. I drain my wine glass, wishing for something stronger. Under the table, Millie’s knee presses against mine. I move my leg away, but there’s nowhere to go in the cramped seating.
Somehow, we get through dinner. As soon as it’s socially acceptable, I excuse myself, ignoring Mom’s pointed comment about family time. I head straight for the stateroom, hoping for a few moments alone before Millie and Rhonda return. My head pounds with tension, with worry about Caitlin, with the claustrophobia of being trapped on this ship with all these expectations.
I check my phone again — still nothing, then Instagram. Neither Rachel nor Caitlin has posted anything new. The knot in my stomach tightens.
The door opens, and Millie slips in alone. “Mom’s having coffee with your parents,” she says, locking the door behind her. Something in her expression makes me sit up straighter.
“Where’s Hailey?”
“She went dancing with Lauren and Jake.” She approaches slowly, deliberately. “We have some time alone.”
Warning bells sound in my head. “I was actually about to go for a walk.”
“I think you’ve had plenty of fresh air today, don’t you?”
She sits on the edge of my bed, too close. Her hand finds my knee. “Adam, I’ve been thinking about us.”
“There is no us, Millie.” I stand, putting distance between us. “There hasn’t been for a long time.”
“Because you left.” Her voice softens. “But you came back. And now we’re here together.”
“I came back for my family’s business. And I’m here because our families are friends and your dad died. That’s it.”
She stands too, moving toward me. “We both know that’s not all there is between us. We have history, Adam. Everyone has always known we belong together.”
“Everyone except me,” I say, but she doesn’t seem to hear.
“I’ve never stopped loving you.” Her hand reaches for my face. “And I think deep down, you feel the same way. Why else would you be here with me instead of with her?”
I step back, bumping against the wall. There’s nowhere else to go. “Millie, stop.”
She doesn’t. Instead, she presses herself against me, her lips finding mine in a kiss I don’t return. For a moment, I’m too shocked to move. Then reality crashes in, and I push her roughly away.
“What are you doing?” My voice comes out louder than I intended.
“What we both want,” she insists, reaching for me again. “What everyone wants for us.”
“No.” I hold her at arm’s length. “This isn’t what I want. I’m engaged to Caitlin. I love her.”
“Then where is she?” Millie challenges. “You left her, Adam. You left her to be here with me. Deep down, you know who you really want.”
Anger flares, sudden and hot. “Stay away from me, Millie.” I move toward the door. “I mean it. This, whatever you think this is, it’s not happening. Not now, not ever.”
Her expression hardens. “You don’t mean that. You’re just feeling guilty because of that—”
“The only thing I feel guilty about now is that I ever allowed you to come in between Caitlin and me. Listen to me very carefully, Millie: I’m in love with Caitlin, and I have been since the day I met her. The only reason I’m on this cruise is that I let everyone else’s expectations dictate my choices instead of listening to what I actually want. That stops now.”
Tears fill her eyes. “Adam, please—”
“No.” My voice is steady now. “I’m sorry for your loss, Millie. I truly am. But I can’t be what you want me to be. I won’t.”
I grab my key card and phone, yanking open the door. “I’m finding somewhere else to sleep tonight. Anywhere else.”
When I reach the lounge, I lean against the wall, breathing hard. My phone buzzes with a text from Lauren:What happened? Millie just called Hailey, crying.
News travels fast. I ignore Lauren’s text and drop into a nearby chair, resting my head against its cushioned back. My head is pounding, and I’m shaking, and I need a moment to calm myself.
