Page 37 of Love, Second Chances and Other Nonsense
For the first time since he sat at my table in a diner in Colorado, I’m considering a future that doesn’t include Adam Kelley. The thought breaks my heart, and I almost start crying again from the pain of it. But it also feels like taking a deep breath after being underwater too long.
By Thanksgiving, I could have escaped from this nightmare. I could be back home with people who truly love and cherish me.
The thought is both terrifying and exhilarating. It feels right. Like waking up from a dream and remembering who I really am.
11
Chapter 11
Caitlin
I wake to sunlight streaming through blinds that I forgot to close, momentarily disoriented by Adam’s absence and the fact that I’m still in the clothes I was wearing yesterday. Suddenly the events of last night come crashing in; the cruise, the fight, Adam, Millie. I stare at the ceiling, feeling a cold, hard anger solidifying in my chest like concrete.
This isn’t the first time we’ve fought about Millie, or his mother, or the way I never quite measure up to the life they all imagined for him. It seems we’ve done nothing but fight since arriving in Iowa. But it’s the first time I’ve felt this level of clarity. I’m done. I’m just… done.
I grab my phone and text Rachel: “Decision made. I’ll be home for Thanksgiving. Maybe sooner. Will call with details later.” Her response is immediate, a string of celebratory emojisfollowed by “FINALLY.” It makes me smile — the first genuine one in weeks.
I shower and dress and take a moment to decide how I want to approach things with Adam. I could go out and just inform him it’s over. I could yell and scream and vent my anger and hurt. But… I don’t want to. The anger and hurt is there, yes, but mostly, I’m just tired. I’m tired of fighting for someone I shouldn’t have had to fight for to begin with. I’m tired of his choosing everyone else over me.
What will Adam do if I tell him our relationship is over? He’ll probably beg again, make promises he won’t end up keeping. He might decide to stay home with me over Thanksgiving and try to repair things. But he won’t have done it because he loves me and won’t stand for my being mistreated. He’ll have done it because I refuse to be accommodating and understanding any longer. I can see with painful clarity now that this has been the pattern since we moved back to his hometown. He makes decisions that hurt me, and he expects me to understand because it’s easier than standing up to his mother and disappointing Millie. It’s just not something I’m willing to tolerate any longer.
I don’t want his apologies, his grand gestures, his promises. I just want to leave. I just want to go home and find my peace again. And start discovering what a future without Adam Kelley is going to look like.
I apply a light coating of makeup and rehearse my new approach in my head: No more fighting. No more trying to make Adam see how his actions hurt me. No more competing with Millie Greene. I’ll agree with everything he says. Millie is just a friend. Millie is like his little sister. Millie needs him right now. Yes, yes, yes to all of it.
And while I’m yessing him to death, I’ll be planning my exit.
The smell of bacon and coffee greets me as I enter the kitchen. Adam stands at the stove, flipping pancakes withcareful concentration. He’s already showered and dressed for work, his damp hair curling slightly at the nape of his neck. Once upon a time, the sight would have made my heart flutter.
“Morning,” I say, keeping my voice light.
Adam turns, surprise clear in his eyes. He probably expected red eyes and the silent treatment. “Morning. I made breakfast.”
“I see that. Smells nice.” I pour myself coffee and lean against the counter, pulling out my phone. And then I proceed to ignore him.
Adam opens and closes his mouth a few times before realizing his pancakes are in danger of burning. He quickly turns back to the stove and tips the cakes out onto the serving platter and pours a few more.
“Listen, Caitlin, about last night–”
“Don’t worry about it,” I interrupt him
“What?” He seems genuinely at a loss for words.
I look up at him and smile brightly. “Don’t worry about it. I was being silly.”
Adam’s spatula freezes mid-air. “Silly?”
“Totally overreacted. I mean, of course you should go on the cruise with Millie. She needs you right now.”
And then I go back to my phone and ignoring him.
He slides pancakes onto a plate, adding bacon on the side. “Your breakfast is ready.”
“Oh good,” I say with a bright smile, “I’m starving.” I take the plate he offers and sit at the table.
He sits across from me, watching me like I might suddenly sprout a second head. “You were right about some things. I should have talked to you before agreeing to go.”
I cut my pancakes and give him another bright smile. “No, no, I get it now. Millie’s practically family to you. She’s like a little sister, right? And her dad just died. Of course, she needs her big brother figure there for emotional support.”
