Page 35 of Love, Second Chances and Other Nonsense
Adam’s face flushes. “That’s not fair. Her dad just died. She’s having a really hard time.”
“And I’m sorry for her, I truly am. But this isn’t about Eric dying. This is about your mother trying to push me out and push her in, and you letting it happen. Again.”
“That’s not what’s happening,” he insists, but his eyes drop to his plate.
“Isn’t it? Because from where I’m sitting, it looks exactly like what’s been happening since we moved here. Every time we visit your parents, your mom finds some way to bring up Millie. How she’s doing, what she’s accomplished, what good friends you were before you left for college. How everyone thought you’d end up together. And then there’s the constant parade of old photos she ‘happens’ to pull out. Prom. Homecoming. The Greene family Christmas card where you’re standing right next to Millie like you’re already part of the family. And now she’s taking you on a cruise for a holiday that’s supposed to be about family, and I’m not invited.” My voice cracks on the last word, betraying the hurt I’m trying to mask with anger.
“You could try to get the time off,” Adam suggests, but it’s half-hearted. We both know my job at Rosie’s doesn’t come with generous vacation days, especially not as the newest hire.
“That’s not the point, and you know it.” I push my plate away, appetite completely gone. “The point is that your mother planned this whole thing in a way that deliberately excludes me. And you are going to go along with it.”
Adam doesn’t seem to have anything to say about that.
My shoulders slump as I reach for my wineglass. “I don’t know how this is going to work, Adam. Your mother is alwaysgoing to resent me for not being Millie, and you, it seems, are always going to choose Millie over me.”
“Mom will get over it eventually,” he says with a sigh. “It’s just that our families have always been close. And Mom and Rhonda had these big dreams that me and Millie would end up together.”
“I know. You’ve told me. Everyone has told me. Adam Kelley and Millie Greene, this perfect little couple with their perfect little future all mapped out.” I drain the wine in my glass in one gulp. “And then I came along and ruined the plan.”
“You ruined nothing. I love you.” He reaches across the table for my hand, but I move it away.
“Adam,” I take a deep breath and force the words out, though I’m not sure I want the answer. “Do you actually love me? Sometimes I think you love the idea of breaking free from your family’s expectations more than you actually love me.”
He jerks back as if I’ve hit him. “Of course I love you! This has nothing to do with how I feel about you.”
“Doesn’t it? What is it about then? In what world is leaving your fiancée alone on Thanksgiving so you can go on a vacation with another woman the actions of a man who loves said fiancée? What version of reality are you living in, Adam?”
“Caitlin, please,” he scrubs his hands over his face and runs them through his hair. “Please try to understand. I know this sucks. I know it. But it’s one holiday. We are going to have so many more in the future–”
“Like hell we will,” I mutter under my breath as I stand up with a suddenness that knocks my chair back. I grab my plate off the table and with angry movements scrape my untouched food into the trash.
Adam’s head jerks up. “What?”
I don’t answer him. Instead, I drop my plate in the sink and turn towards the bedroom.
He grabs my arm to stop me. “Caitlin, please. Don’t walk away. What did you say?”
I take a deep breath and turn towards him. But instead of answering his question, I ask my own. “Do you want to know what I’m tired of, Adam? I’m tired of being an afterthought in your life. I’m tired of competing with a ghost relationship that everyone thinks should have been forever. I’m tired of not being enough.”
“Caitlin, please.” Adam reaches for me, but I move back.
“You say you love me? Then look me in the eye and tell me you’re choosing me. Tell me you’re staying home for Thanksgiving.”
The silence stretches between us, taut and terrible.
“I can’t do that,” he finally says. “It’s not about choosing anyone. It’s about supporting a friend who’s grieving.”
The tears I’ve been fighting spill over, hot tracks down my cheeks. I brush them away angrily.
Adam looks at me helplessly.
“You know, Adam, ever since we got here, your family has acted like Millie’s the one who should be wearing this ring.” I hold my left hand up, the diamond catching in the candlelight. “Maybe we should just give them what they want.” And with that, I take the ring from my hand and drop it on the table where it sits glinting beside his plate.
“Caitlin, we don’t need to do this; it doesn’t need to go this far.” Adam picks up the ring and moves towards me, but I step back and stop him with an upheld hand.
“I’m going to bed. You are no longer welcome in my bedroom. I do not care where you sleep. Sleep on the couch, go sleep at your mom’s, go sleep in hell for all I care. Just leave me alone.”
I leave him standing there, mouth open, and retreat into the bedroom, closing and locking the door behind me.
