Page 13 of My Rules for Revenge

“I’m sorry about that, but that’s not really my problem,” Heather replied.

“Yeah, of course it’s not. I’m just telling you things from my perspective.”

“Okay then.”

“Can I ask you a question? This is a serious question.”

“Sure.”

“Do you think there’s any chance that you and I could, you know?”

I winked at her. She gave me a look of utter disgust and stood up.

“What the hell are you suggesting?”

“Whoa, relax, it was just a question!” I exclaimed.

“A very inappropriate question. You don’t know me like that. Get out of here!”

I was taken aback by her hostility, but I continued.

“Heather, we’re just talking. Why are you getting mad? Jesus!”

“Are you out of your mind?” Heather asked.

“No, my mind is perfectly intact.”

“Doesn’t seem like it.”

“Wow! That wasn’t nice,” I remarked.

“It wasn’t supposed to be.”

I began to grow frustrated and impulsively laughed to myself.

“Alright, Heather. Whatever. Look, I swear I’m a good guy, and I’ll prove it to you,” I assured her.

“I don’t want you to prove anything to me. Get the hell out!” Heather demanded.

“Just hear out my offer first. Please. Like I said, it was a serious question.”

“Dude, what? You’re pissing me off,” Heather said angrily.

“If you were to have sex with me, I would pay you,” I offered.

Heather rapidly blinked and appeared to be even more revolted than before.

“What… I’m sorry, what?”

“Heather, I will pay you a lot of money to help me lose my virginity. I swear,” I reassured her.

Heather slowly sat back down.

“Holy smokes… This can’t be real life. You’re insane.”

“I’m not insane. I’m being serious.”

“It’s incomprehensible that you are this horny.”