Page 31 of When We Had Forever
God, I’m a mess.
I hide the internal chaos behind a smile and watch the Suburban trundle off. Then I go to the mailbox. I haven’t checked it in ages, and a giant stack has built up. A crisp mailer from the US Department of State sits right on top.
I grimace. My new passport. The one I only renewed because I’d been drinking that evening.
I have no idea what I was thinking.
Back in the house, I toss the pile on the counter and tote the unopened passport up to Michael’s office. By his filing cabinet, I squint down at the envelope.
Throw a dart at a map.Start over.
Maybe I could have, once. But I’m a different person now, one who’s made choices that can’t be unmade. One whose yesterdays weigh too much to simply shrug off.
I open the file cabinet and shove the passport inside. I intend to go precisely nowhere. I’m staying right here, until I figure out how to manage this ravenous, gnawing grief, like any normal person would.
Except that’s when I spot Michael’s folder, tucked into the very back of the cabinet. The one I had no idea existed.
The one that explodes my entire life.
BEFORE
Just as my lungs spasm, Michael powers upward. The world brightens. My head breaks water. I gasp, hauling in fresh plumes of air.
We’ve surfaced inside a cave, but it’s like no cave I’ve ever seen. Waterfalls pour in through gaps in the roof, along with moss-tinted spears of sunlight. Everywhere I look, water gushes over smooth white stone. Light refracts from a central pool, painting the grotto with dancing brilliance.
A sound of amazement slides from my lips. Michael tows me toward a pebbled beach, where he lays me beneath him and braces his weight on his forearms.
I can’t decide where to look: at the myriad channels carved smooth by the water, or at the heart-stoppingly beautiful man inches from my face.
Within moments, Michael wins. Droplets trickle from his nose to splash against my forehead. My legs squeeze around him, locking our hips flush. When I feel him against me, a slow, excruciating dance starts up in the base of my stomach. A second heartbeat forms there, one that begs for him with every pulse.
Never in my life have I slept with someone I just met, but despite my earlier resolve, I decide I absolutely would right now. I’d let him have me here. I don’t care about the freezing water or the illogic of it all.
But to my abject disappointment, he doesn’t try for that. He just smiles his incredible smile and says, “What do you think?”
“I think Greece might actually be boring after this. This is the most magical thing I’ve ever seen.”
“Worth it, then?”
“And then some.”
“Perfect.” He shifts, his bare stomach sliding against mine, which sends another pang lancing through me. “And now I have a question for you. As promised.”
My breath falters. He looks serious again, even more so than when I first got into his car, which tells me my earlier suspicions were off the mark. This isn’t about staying in touch, but something else entirely.
“I said I wouldn’t ask you to stay,” he says, “because I think it’s incredible that you want to go. But Iwillask you for time.”
My heart catapults up my throat.
“Spend your month with me,” he says, his earnestness stunning. “Go to bed with me at night. Wake up with me each day. You can get a job in Seattle, earn enough for your ticket, and in thirty days, I’ll drive you to the airport myself. I won’t say a word to stop you.”
“You meanlivewith you? In your house?”
“It’s a condo. But yeah.”
A tingle starts in my temples. Despite the icy wavelets lapping at my legs and the rocks digging into my back, warmth suffuses me. “Have you ever lived with a girl before?”
“No. But I’ve never met you before.”
