Page 92 of When We Had Forever
My stomach clenches. Jesus. I’m definitely going to do something reckless if he keeps that up. The urge gathers strength inside me, heady and delicious and wicked.
I lower my gaze to the fruit icon on my computer until the feeling passes. When I look again, Grayson is zooming off in something red and aerodynamic. Like Devina, I don’t recognize it. A Lotus, maybe?
Whatever. It doesn’t matter. Michael was the one who loved expensive things, not me.
Outside, the girls tilt their heads together for a quick conference, then come into the shop. As the jangling bell over the door quiets, they walk right up to me.
“Hi,” one says. “Sorry to bother you, but...do you know him?”
I can’t help but smile at her directness. “Yeah, I do.”
Her hazel eyes round. “Wow. How?”
I glance around. It’s late in the day for coffee, and now it’s only me, these girls, and an older woman reading a book. I have no reason to avoid the truth for a measly three people. “I married his twin brother. That’s all.”
“Whoa,” says the second. “Twin like, identical twin?”
“Yep.”
Now they both look impressed. “You’re married to a guy that looks like Grayson Drake?”
A needle twists in my chest. “I was. He died.”
“Oh. Oh my god. I’m so sorry. That must’ve been really hard.” They go quiet, but not in that alarmed, what-did-I-just-say way that strangers usually retreat to. Instead, they crook their brows as if they can’t believe life could be so cruel.
I decide I like them. “It’s okay. I mean, you’re right, it was hard. It’s still hard. But life goes on and...you survive, you know?”
One nods, though I can tell she doesn’t appreciate the full gravity of what I’m saying. I hope she never has to.
“Well, we just wanted to come inside and tell you he likes you. It was super obvious, even from outside.”
I sit back a fraction. “You think?”
“Definitely,” says the second. “I mean, it makes sense. You’re really pretty. And also, we’re incredibly jealous.”
I laugh at her friendly tone, but when my amusement subsides, the smile left over feels tattered around the edges. They make it sound so easy.You’re really pretty, so he likes you.
What I wouldn’t give for life to be that simple again.
“Thanks,” I say. “But even just being around him feels weird, honestly.”
“What? Why?”
“Because. I was married to his identical twin. Whodied.”
They look at me like I’ve sprouted another head.
“So?” says one.
“Girl,” says the second, “I don’t mean to be disrespectful or anything, but you’d have to be out of your mind not to pursue that. Who cares what the situation is?”
I blink. “Erm...I do?”
“Then you’re definitely overthinking it.”
I ease back in my chair. Huh. That attitude is so...blithely optimistic. So egocentrically youthful, too, but maybe that’s not a bad thing.
And really, so what if Grayson resembles Michael? From what I can tell, the similarities end at the surface. And it’s not like I owe my husband eternal celibacy. He’s gone, and I’m...not. Besides, if that folder I found is any indication, he might not have stuck around much longer, anyway. “You know, you might have a point.”
