Page 84 of When We Had Forever
“Because,” I say, “half of being married is just keeping the peace.”
“That...doesn’t sound right.”
“What would you know? You’ve never done it.”
He doesn’t flinch, but the look on his face gives the impression that he has. “Is that what you’ve spent the last fourteen years doing, Mina? Keeping the peace?”
I pick at my fingernails. The question worms its way into my gut. My first instinct is to shy away, but something about the way Grayson’s watching me makes me wonder.
Did I spent the entirety of my marriage so in love with what could’ve been—with what I’d only touched in those first heady weeks, and then in the briefest of snatches—that I never stopped to examine what I actually had? Have I spent the last six months mourning a man who ceased to exist long before he died?
“I don’t know,” I say honestly. It won’t help to reiterate that I’ve always blamed Grayson for Michael’s distance, that I devoted an enormous slice of my life to trying to undo the damage he caused.
Because I have the sneaking suspicion that he might be right. He was never responsible for that.Michaelwas.
“I don’t know much,” Grayson says. “But I do know you shouldn’t tame yourself for other people’s sake. If you want to scream, scream. And if you want to do something else...do that, too.” When his attention drops to my mouth, I suspect we’ve strayed onto an entirely different subject.
Heat shoots across my cheeks. “Maybe you’re right,” I say hurriedly. “But if so, that also means you shouldn’t have to climb mountains just to feel like you have some say in your own life.”
Thankfully, he doesn’t call my bluff on the subject change. “True. But you know it’s a lot easier to dispense sage advice than to take it, right?”
I snicker. The crisp tension in the air softens.
“Besides,” he says, “mountain climbing keeps me fit. And I’d prefer not to dislike what I see in the mirror every day.”
“Well, that sounds impossible.”
“Oh? Why’s that?”
Okay, maybe this direction isn’t any better, but I can’t seem to stop myself. “Come on. Look at you over there, with all your muscles. You look like sin. You could probably spend the next year being a couch potato and still drive women crazy.”
I swear his chest puffs out, even though he’s lying down. “You think I look like sin?”
“I do.”
“Is that a good thing?”
I pause. “I’m ninety-nine percent sure it’s the exact opposite of a good thing.”
He cracks a smile, and what could be the most awkward of moments instead turns into us trading goofy grins. “For the record,” he says, “I think you’re gorgeous, too. In case you hadn’t realized.”
“Well, thanks. Not as much as I used to be, though.”
“Every bit as much as you used to be. Based on that picture, I mean.” His eyes heat. I don’t know why I compared them to ice at first. Warm, tropical waves tickle at my toes, inviting me to step in. “Maybe a little too skinny right now, but we can fix that. I’ll bring you a cheeseburger tomorrow. Two cheeseburgers, if you let me win.”
My self-consciousness dissolves. We laugh, and then I roll and land on Park Place, setting my dog next to one of his hotels.
“Damn.” I inventory my assets, but even if I mortgage everything, I don’t have enough.
“Game, set, match,” he says. “And now I get one last question. The one I’ve been saving.”
I push all my money across the board. He takes it, his fingers brushing mine.
I snatch my hand away. “Um... Yeah. Shoot.”
“I want to know what your favorite moment is. Ever. In your whole life.”
My eyes widen. What a question.
