Page 136 of When We Had Forever
She snuggles deeper. “It’s not him, really. It’s just that...as a wife, and a mother, you just give and give and give. To your husband. Your kids. They never see that you’re always pouring yourself out to keep them afloat, because to them, it’s normal. Business as usual. All that effort is invisible to them, and in a way, it makes you invisible, too. But, Mina. Tothat guy, you’re not invisible. Oh my god. You’re all he freaking sees. And I can’t tell you what I wouldn’t give to be that noticed by someone. To be thatsignificant.”
I try to cram all that into my head.
She pulls back, dragging the napkin across a nose as bright as a cherry. “I swear to god if you don’t text Grayson right now, I’m going to do it for you.”
When I don’t move, she lunges for my phone, but I snatch it off the coffee table and hold it out of reach. “What are you even talking about? Didn’t you say he and I had no future?”
“Yeah. I definitely did.” She eyes the phone as if calculating the best angle to pounce from. “And, listen, I was definitely wrong. Because I’ve never seen a guy be that honest before. I didn’t even know they could be. I mean, you didn’t tell me, Mina. You didn’t tell me he was likethat.”
“I’m pretty sure I did. Or tried to. Not that it matters. I’m going to Greece tomorrow, remember? Besides, he’s probably in Namibia right now, or something.”
“Who gives a shit? For once in your life, for once inmylife, can we just agree that you should take a chance?”
I hesitate. “But after everything that’s happened...”
“What?” she says combatively. “Is there actually an end to that sentence that’s worth saying out loud?”
I search my mind. My heart.After everything that’s happened...
The completion of my tectonic shift seems to have opened a new path inside me. I chase it down into the black, only to arrive not in darkness, but warmth.
After everything that’s happened, Grayson Drake still means more to me than I can measure. He still feelsright. And while he may not have been entirely honest at times, he’s been more open with me than anyone else.
While my mother hid her pain, Grayson bared his without hesitation.
Michael told me to go running. Grayson told me to go to Greece.
Kate talked sense into me. But Grayson made me feel again. He gave me the dignity of an apology, an explanation. Another chance at Greece. The list goes on.
“Goddamn it,” I say. “You know what? You’re right. I’m totally, stupidly, ridiculously in love with him and I really don’t care about anything else.”
She eyes my phone. “Then do it.”
I do. I bring up his contact info and fire off a text.
I have something to tell you. And I want to say it to your face.
A minute crawls by. Bubbles pop up, telling me he’s writing back. I suck in an anticipatory breath. Hopefully not in Namibia, then.
I wait. And wait.
“Well?” Kate prompts. “What’d he say?”
“Nothing.” On my screen, the bubbles disappear. I frown. “He didn’t say anything.”
“Did he read it?”
“I think so.”
“Well, he probably passed out. I bet he’s lying on the floor right now, trying to figure out whether he died and went to heaven.”
My frown deepens. Somehow, I don’t think so. Oh, god. What if he’s reconsidered? That episode could have been recorded months ago. Plenty of time for things to change.
“Hey.” Kate tries for lightness, but when my phone remains silent, she can’t mask the tension in her voice. “Come on, let’s have some wine. He’ll answer eventually.”
He doesn’t, though. We drink an entire bottle of Merlot and watchCaptain Corelli’s Mandolinwhile my phone taunts me with utter silence.
By the time two hours have passed, my heart is falling apart at the seams. I can’t accept that now that I’ve finally,finallyfigured out how to move forward, it’s too late.
