Page 384 of The First Time

It's a short walk to Meryl's room. I keep my gaze on the white tile floor.

Room 302. I reach for the door.

Shit.

Blake is here.

He's in jeans and a t-shirt. Messy hair. Bags under his eyes. He's undone. Not like the animal Blake, the one I understand.

He's some other version of Blake.

One I've never seen before.

I step inside with my bestI don't give a damn my ex is hereswagger. My shoes squeak against the tile floor. I force a smile.

Blake's eyes fix on mine. "Kat."

My name is a plea on his lips. But not for what I need. Not for every ounce of my love and affection.

I hand Meryl her books. "I should get going. I'll come back tomorrow."

Blake's eyes stay on mine. "Stay. Talk. I can come back."

"No, that's okay. I have a lot of work to do. Deadlines for my applications." I press the can of coffee against the inside of my wrist. It sends a chill straight to my spine. "I hope you feel better."

She nods. "You too."

I move into the hallway. I keep my eyes on the floor. I'm not turning back. I can't. If he looks at me like that again…

"Kat, wait." Blake's voice booms in the hallway.

My intentions to avoid him crumble. That voice is intoxicating. I want it surrounding me. I want it any way I can have it.

"Forget about moving up the wedding," he says. "Let's do it as planned at the gardens. I wanted to marry you."

Those words are music. They're poetry.

They're bullshit.

I shake my head. "I can't."

His fingers brush my wrist. "There must be some way I can change your mind."

Warmth fills my body. Damn thing is against me. "There is."

"Well?"

I turn and take in his expression. It's the strangest mix of sadness and steel. The guy is going to hell over this, but he's still a goddamned automaton.

"It's not a possibility," I say.

His voice is strong and deep. "Anything is a possibility."

I shake my head. "This is one thing you can't negotiate." Small step backwards. "Let Meryl know I'll see her tomorrow."

"Kat."

"Take care of yourself."

"You too."