Page 87 of Nave

“Now go shower and get yourself an all-night love session.”

With that, she got to her feet and started digging up the old, spent zucchini plants to make room for cold weather crops.

I started back to the motorhome, glancing back to make sure Edith wasn’t looking for me.

She didn’t even know I was gone.

I stripped, showered, shaved, and slathered on the lotion Ariah made for me, then gathered a few things, and made my way to the car.

My belly was doing little flips as I drove down the driveway, pausing to pull on my sunglasses and hat, before turning onto the main road.

I was sure at any moment, red and blue lights would flash, a siren would ring out, and I would be hauled off to jail for driving without a license and having a fake ID.

My palms grew sweaty at just the possibility.

But by the time I turned onto the main street in town, I hadn’t seen a single cop or trooper around.

Being the middle of the day, several bikes were still neatly lined up outside. The vampires weren’t awake yet, it seemed.

Even as I thought it, though, the most vampiric of them all—the tall, dark-haired Spike—made his way out from the side of the building, a hose in his hand.

“Hey, baby,” he called, waving a hand at me.

“Hey, Spike,” I said, approaching.

“You looking for Nave?”

“Yeah.”

“He ran out a little bit ago. But he’s never gone for long. Hang out,” he said, waving toward the clubhouse.

“I think I will,” I agreed, tamping down the urge to run.

These were his people. This was his place. I needed to feel comfortable in and around everyone without Nave as the buffer.

It was moments like this, as my belly wobbled when I entered the clubhouse without an explicit invitation from Nave, that I was reminded of what a different life I’d led for so long.

Maybe, had I never been locked up in the woods with a man bent on controlling everything about me, I would have naturally built a comfort around other people, would feel confident when it came to social interactions with acquaintances and strangers.

But I’d been tucked away from the world. I hadn’t spoken to another human being other than Ben for years.

Even my television was heavily controlled. I got to watch history documentaries and other educational programming. It seemed like a non-problem compared to everything else.

That said, now that I was looking back at it, I was seeing how insidious it was, how it was just another way he removed me from society. I couldn’t even watch people interact for entertainment. I wasn’t given the chance to fantasize about healthy, happy relationships with friends or lovers.

I was as isolated as a human being could be.

And, as I was sure was Ben’s intention, I eventually stopped thinking about things like friends, like life with a kind, supportive, and loving partner.

That was how you kept something captive: you killed its hope of having any other life.

I shuddered to imagine how long I might have stayed with Ben had I not gotten pregnant.

Would my whole life have passed me by?

At what point would Ben no longer want me?

What would happen to me then?