Page 54 of The Fire Walker

“What did she tellyou?”

“You know it’s not my place to blab things she said to me in confidence. It doesn’t work thatway.”

I grunted. Of course, I knew it. When she and Will were screwed up, she would’ve throttled me if I’d spilled. Jessie needed to tell me on her own terms, but the fact was, I knew she wouldn’t. She’d made that clear when sheran.

“So she’s road tripping withyou?”

“I couldn’t leave her in the middle ofbuttfucknowhere.” I rubbed myeyes.

“Of course, youwouldn’t.”

“’Cos I’m a fucking goodguy.”

“It’s not a bad thing, Dee. How many times do I have to tell you?” she scoldedme.

“I’ve got a pretty thickskull.”

“So thick, I wonder if there’s even a brain inthere.”

Despite myself, I laughed at her stupidjoke.

“Has she talked to you about ityet?”

“No. I wasn’t exactly thrilled to see her,Zo.”

“I hope you weren’t anass.”

“I was a big fucking ass. She won’t talk to me,anyway.”

“If she won’t tell you, maybe you shouldask.”

“Maybe I don’t wannaknow.”

Zoe was silent for a while, and then she came out with the mother of all questions. “Do you have feelings forher?”

“I don’t know,” I replied truthfully. Back in LA, I would’ve said yes without blinking. Now I wasn’t so sure the thing that was churning inside me was love, hate, or something inbetween.

“Maybe you should talk to her and figure itout.”

“Talk to her about what?” I scoffed. “I don’t want to talk about thatthing.” I didn’t know what else to callit.

Zoe laughed. “You don’t have to have a deep and meaningful. Start again. Get to know her beyond the Jessie you met in LA. I’m not saying you should forgive her or start a relationship or anything. I mean you should try to get to know her as a person first. Find out what makes her tick. Then you might understand why she did what shedid.”

Zoe was so smart sometimes it made me feel inadequate. I told her as much, and shelaughed.

“You know I’m the brains of this operation, DeeDee.”

“All the way,” I said, lying back on the bed. “Thanks,Zo.”

“Feel a littlebetter?”

“Yeah, but I wish you didn’t go in person. I mean, it fucked up yourtrip.”

“It didn’t screw it up,” she reassured me. “We’re doing the same thing, justbackward.”

“You’re too good for me,Zo.”

“We’re perfect for eachother.”