Page 31 of Consequences of Their Wedding Charade
‘I’m never like this,’ he said gruffly, turning her so that they were lying on their sides, facing one another, with her leg between his thighs and his over hers. Their bodies fitted so perfectly together.
‘Like what?’ She snuggled into him. She felt whole, complete and, yes, she knew that this was just going to be a moment in time, but she wanted to appreciate the absolute pleasure of lying in a bed with Curtis.
‘I could barely control myself. That damn condom...think it slipped a bit... Damn...’ But already the passing concern was wiped out by a wave of dizzying passion.
‘What?’ She nuzzled his neck and he reacted by clasping his hands on her buttocks so that he could pull her closer to him.
‘No matter. You could have told me, Jess.’
‘Why would I have done that?’ She looked at him, her expression serious. She wasn’t going to be coy and pretend that she didn’t know what he was talking about.
‘I would have been gentler...the whole way through. I’m sorry if... I didn’t know, didn’t suspect.’
‘You were...perfect,’ she said roughly, and he smiled and pushed some of her hair off her forehead.
‘So were you.’
‘Mutual admiration society.’ She blushed and smiled and looked away. ‘Who’d have thought?’ When she thought about actually lying in bed with him, both of them naked, she felt the thrill of the forbidden. Never had anything tasted sweeter.
‘Who indeed.’ He hesitated. ‘We’re here for another day and a half...’
‘We are.’
‘Jess, I never thought...this didn’t cross my radar. No,’ he mused, ‘maybe it did but us...here...lovers...it wasn’t a scenario I predicted.’
‘Do you regret what just happened, Curtis?’ she asked quietly.
She only realised how tense she had been awaiting his response when he said with a smile, ‘Far from it.’ He curled one finger through her hair. ‘Still feel weird about this?’
She shrugged.Yes and no, she wanted to say. ‘I might in the morning,’ she admitted honestly. ‘But things will return to normal.’
‘I still want you,’ he said bluntly. ‘I don’t want this to be the first and last time we sleep together.’
‘What do you mean?’ She felt a burst of pleasure and dared to let her thoughts travel down roads she knew were out of bounds, roads that might lead to a proper relationship. Hope bloomed against better judgement.
‘Think about it,’ he mused, still playing with that strand of hair, his eyes pensive. ‘We’ve opened a door. If we walk away now, there’s a risk that the door will remain open and, if it does, nothing between us will be the same again. We have to see this through to the finish line. That’s my opinion. We do that and we will have history between us, but we won’t be living with the notion that there’s unfinished business festering somewhere, waiting to be dealt with.’
Jess thought that part of the reason she had come here had been to kill the infatuation that had had her in its grip for as long as she could remember. See him in his natural habitat and the chasm between them would snuff out inappropriate feelings. She hadn’t banked on this! But was he right? Was this something that needed to be put to bed, literally and figuratively? Lest it fester and remain the unfinished business that would lay waste all her hopes for moving on with someone else?
And who knew...?a treacherous little voice suggested.Who knew what lay down the road...? From friends to lovers... A road unexplored...possibilities born...
‘You know me better than anyone,’ he continued as she chewed over what he had just said. ‘You know that I’m not looking for anything long-term. We can be lovers without the worry that you might want more than what’s on the table...don’t you agree?’
His words hit her like a bucket of cold water, killing dead those treacherous shoots of hope.
The tableau in front of her was now somewhat different. In it, she saw herself continuing with what they had, handing her heart over to him and then, when her sell-by date came, he would politely discard her as he had discarded so many women in the past, as he would have discarded Caitlin had events played out differently.
And she would have no one but herself to blame because he would have given her ample warning that he wasn’t in it for the long haul.
Was she willing to do that? Hadn’t she spent months striving to move on? What would be the point of throwing the towel in just because he wanted her as his lover for a week or two longer?
‘I think,’ she said gently, ‘that it would be better...healthier...for us to leave things where they are, Curtis. Let’s remember this as a wonderful one-off.’ She kissed him lightly on the lips and began edging away from him. ‘We’re friends and, okay, it might be a little odd tomorrow, but after that...? Well, we’ll still be great friends. I’ll go on dates and stop burying myself in work and you... There’s an ocean of gorgeous women waiting out there for you.’ She smiled but her heart was clenched with pain. ‘So I’m going to go back to my room now.’
The thought of having more of him was so tempting that she had to escape as fast as she possibly could or else risk being talked into something she knew she would end up regretting.
She slid her legs over the side of the bed and tried not to make a frantic, embarrassed dash to the pile of clothes on the ground.
The red dress no longer felt sexy. She was going to walk the plank of shame and thank goodness her room was next to his.
