“Animals in pens have lots of time to develop theories,” said the Cow. “I’ve heard more than one clever creature draw a connection between the rise of tiktokism and the erosion of traditional Animal labor. We weren’t beasts of burden, but we were good reliable laborers. If we were made redundant in the workforce, it was only a matter of time before we’d be socially redundant too. Anyway, that’s one theory. My own feeling is that there is real evil abroad in the land. The Wizard sets the standard for it, and the society follows suit like a bunch of sheep. Forgive the slanderous reference,” she said, nodding to her companions in the pen. “It was a slip.”
Elphaba threw open the gate of the pen. “Come on, you’re free,” she said. “What you make of it is your own affair. If you turn it down, it’s on your own heads.”
“It’s on our own heads if we walk out, too. Do you think a Witch who would charm an axe to dismember a human being would pause over a couple of Sheep and an annoying old Cow?”
“But this might be your only chance!” Elphaba cried.
The Cow moved out, and the Sheep followed. “We’ll be back,” she said. “This is an exercise in your education, not ours. Mark my words, my rump’ll be served up rare on your finest Dixxi House porcelain dinner plates before the year is out.” She mooed a last remark—“I hope you choke”—and, tail swishing the flies, she meandered away.
6
An ambassador from the Glikkus, darling,” Nessarose said, when Elphaba demanded a meeting. “Really, I can’t turn her away. She’s come to discuss mutual defense pacts in the event that the Glikkus secedes next. She thinks there are agents trailing her family, and she needs to leave on her return journey tonight. But we’ll dine together, just like old times? You, me, and my server?”
Elphaba had no choice but to while away another afternoon. She located Frex and persuaded him to go for a stroll out beyond the ornamental ponds and pristine lawns, where the woods came up to the back edge of Colwen Grounds. He walked so stiffly, so slowly, it was torture; she was a strider. But she kept herself in check.
“How do you find your sister?” he asked her. “After all these years? Much changed?”
“She was always confident, in her way,” Elphie said reservedly.
“I never thought so, and I don’t now,” Frex said. “But I think it was a good act, and it’s gotten better.”
“What really did you ask me to come here for, Papa?” Elphaba said. “I haven’t much time, you know. You must be frank.”
“You would make a smarter Eminence than Nessie,” he said.
“And it’s your birthright. Yes, I know the strict rules of title inheritance weren’t important to your mother. I just think that the people of Munch-kinland would do better with you at the helm. Nessa is—too devout, if such a thing exists. Too devout to be a central figure in public life, anyway.”
“This may be the only respect in which I take after my mother,” Elphaba said, “but an inherited position is of no interest to me, and it carries no weight at all that I’m the rightful Eminence. I’ve long ago abdicated my position in the family in that respect. Nessarose has every right to abdicate hers, and then Shell can be located to stand in. Or better yet, the foolish custom can be abolished, and let the Munchkinlanders govern themselves to death.”
“Nobody ever suggested a leader isn’t just as much a scapegoat as a lowly peon,” said Frex. “Anyway, it’s possible. But I’m talking about leadership, not about rank and privilege. I’m talking about the nature of the times we live in, and the job that needs to be done. Fabala, you were always the more capable sibling. Shell is a madcap cutup, currently playing secret agent, and Nessie is a bruised little girl—”
“Oh please,” she said in disgust. “Isn’t it time to get over that?”
“She hasn’t,” he said, hurt. “Do you see her wrapped in some lover’s arms? Do you see her bearing her own children, engaging in life in a way that makes sense? She hides behind her devotion the way a terrorist hides behind his ideals—” He saw her flinch at this, and paused.
“I have known terrorists capable of love,” she said evenly, “and I have known good maunts, unmarried and childless, doing charity for stricken people.”
“Have you known Nessa to have an adult bond with anyone other than the Unnamed God?”
“You’re one to talk,” she said. “You had your wife and your children, but they came lower on the order of priorities than Quadlings waiting to be converted.”
“I did what had to be done,” he said rigidly. “I won’t be lectured by my daughter.”
“Well, I won’t be lectured by you about my everlasting duties to Nessie. I gave her my childhood, I got her going at Shiz. She’s made her life the way she wants it, and she still has choice and free will even now. And so do her subjects, who can depose her and cut off her head if her prayers get in their way.”
“She is a rather powerful woman,” Frex said sadly. Elphie glanced sideways at him, and for the first time she saw him as feckless—the kind of old man that Irji, if he survived, would grow to be. Constantly pawing at the edge of events, reacting instead of acting, mourning the past and praying for the future instead of stirring up the present.
“How did she get so powerful?” she asked, trying to be kind. “She had two good parents.”
He didn’t answer this.
They walked on and came out of the woods along the edge of a cornfield. A couple of farmhands were repairing a fence and erecting a scarecrow. “Afternoon, Brother Frexspar,” they said, doffing their caps. They looked a little askance at Elphaba. When she and her father had continued out of earshot, she said, “They were wearing a little talisman or something on their tunics, did you see it? It looked like a small straw dolly or something.”
“Oh yes, the straw man.” He sighed. “Another pagan custom that had almost gone underground, and then was revived during the Great Drought. Ignorant field-workers wear a straw man as a charm against the pests of crops: drought, crows, insects, rot. Once upon a time there was a tradition of human sacrifice about it.” He paused to catch his breath and wipe his face. “Our family friend, Turtle Heart, the Quadling—he was butchered right here in Colwen Grounds, on the day that Nessarose was born. An itinerant dwarf and a huge tiktok entertaining clock were making the circuit that year, and providing a conduit for the ugliest of human inclinations. We arrived here
just in time for Turtle Heart to be nabbed. I’ve never forgiven myself for not seeing what was about to happen—but your mother was in her labor, and we’d been run out of town. I wasn’t thinking clearly enough all the way around things.”
Elphaba had heard all this before—even so. “You were in love with him,” she said, to make it easier.
