“And you’re done with that now.”
“Definitely done with the drugs. Maybe done with the whole scene. Instagram. TikTok. Selfies. Makeup. Traveling the world. It’s a lot scarier when you’ve been on the run across the Italian countryside. You realize just how dangerous that world can be.”
I sweep her in a circle around her old embroidered armchair. It makes my side ache, but I don’t really fucking care, not when her hair’s flowing around her shoulders. “You don’t have to swear off traveling. Or selfies. It could happen without the drugs.”
She shrugs. “I don’t know. It’s not like it was important work, anyway. Convincing people they should drink coconut water or making them feel envious of my life.”
“Not important?”
“Not like Holly. She’s a bestselling author. Millions of people read her words.”
“And millions of people see your photos.”
She scrunches her nose, looking adorable. “It’s not the same.”
“No,” I say slowly. “Not the same, but still important. You give people a sense of adventure, even when they’re afraid to take that step for themselves.”
“Don’t make me sound all noble and interesting. I don’t even like coconut water.”
That makes me laugh, which hurts more than the dancing. I press my lips to the top of her head. God, she smells good. Not like coconut, though. Sweeter than that. “Maybe not noble, but you’re definitely interesting, London Frank. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”
9
Elijah
Holly sleeps like we’re in a five-star hotel, all pink and flushed beneath the sheet on the cot.
I stayed until my leg fell asleep from hanging off the side. If there’s one thing I can’t afford, it’s to be caught with pins and needles in one of my feet. The city breathes around us. With every inhale our enemies get closer. This is a hunting expedition, and we’re the prey.
I find a blanket and tuck Holly in, then take the chair by her side to keep watch.
There’s nothing to see except the way the blankets rise and fall with every even breath she takes. The rhythm is enough to hypnotize a man, and it does. I become attuned to the steady in and out, in and out, in and out. I watch, enraptured, while my mind works through the decisions that need to be made. Though they’re already made, really. Everything has already been chosen for us. It was chosen years ago, and it’s time to tell Holly the truth.
As soon as she wakes up.
She sleeps for a long time, alive and breathing. So long that my own eyelids grow heavy. At some point toward dawn I close my eyes for a moment. Soldiers learn how to sleep in short, necessary bursts. I open my eyes when I hear Holly shifting on the cot.
It’s heartbreaking, watching her wake up.
She stretches her arms over her head. I reach to stop her—too late. Holly stops herself with a wince. A gasp. I shouldn’t have fucked her last night. It was wrong.
It was wrong, but the memory of it has me hard right now.
Holly turns her head, her sleepy gaze finding my face. “Don’t regret it.”
She means the sex. That’s the only part of this I don’t regret.
Most of all I regret what happens next.
Every part of me resists telling her. My calves tense. My heart slows. I’d rather walk to the ends of the earth. There’s no other choice. “We’re in danger.”
Holly rubs at her eyes with one hand. “I know.”
“You don’t.” I run a hand over my face. I want to throw my body in front of the bullet for her, but I already failed. “It’s not a matter of if they’ll find us, it’s when. You have to know what to do when they arrive. Because it’s not about murder, not really.”
“Elijah—”
“It’s about treason. Casus belli. It’s an act of war.”
She looks stricken, and I hate myself right now. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. You were defending yourself. And me. I’m not angry, but I have to… I have to tell you this. I have to prepare you for what happens next.”
A hard swallow. “Which is?”
“They will spin it like it’s an act against country. His crimes won’t matter. And—” I swallow against the knot in my throat. A million times I’ve been in the hands of the enemy. There’s always been a little bit of relief. A little hope that the pain will end. Even death means a cease to the suffering. The thought of Holly in the enemy’s hands is a new type of fear. It freezes me solid, ice from the inside out. “The military doesn’t need to follow the rules. They don’t need an arrest warrant, they don’t need to give you a lawyer. Not for an enemy combatant. You can disappear, if that’s what they want.”
“Okay.” Her voice only shakes a little. “So we need to get out of the country.”