Page 79 of Striking
I think I’m going to be sick.
I’m not sure how long I’ve been sitting on our balcony overlooking the rose garden, a blanket wrapped around my shoulders, thinking how sad it is that I’ll never get to see them in bloom as the doors open, and Rhys finally walks through. I don’t turn his way... I don’t need to see him to feel the pain rolling off him in heavy waves.
“You know.” It’s not a question. It doesn’t need to be. He knows me as well as I know him. So much better than I would have thought possible just a few short months ago. “I should have talked to you first.”
“You should have,” I agree, still unwilling to turn around.
“I’m not sorry, love. I’d do it again if it meant keeping you.” Thankfully, I’m sitting because the emotion in his voice threatens to bring me to my knees. “I’d do anything to keep you.”
It’s theanythingthat has me finally looking at him.
He’s aged ten years in the ten hours since he left this morning.
And he did it for me.
“You can’t give up your country for me, Rhys. I won’t let you.” I stand in front of him, clinging to the blanket, knowing if I let go, I’ll walk right into his arms and never leave. “I love you enough to not let you do this for me.”
“It’s not your decision to make, Bellamy.” He runs his fingers through my hair and wraps his hand around the back of my head, forcing me to hold his eyes. “Not because I don’t respect you. But because there is no decision.”
“Rhys . . .”
“I never thought I’d walk away from this country for anything in the world. Until I met you and you became my world. I don’t want to do it, but if they force my hand, I will.”
“You can’t. I won’t let you give up the one thing you were made to do for me, Rhys. You once told me I could help a few patients or millions of people. And you were right. I can’tkeep you for myself when an entire country needs you.” I give in and rest my face against his chest, soaking in his strength. Wondering how I’m supposed to live without it. Without him.
“I was made to love you. For the rest of my life, everything else will come second to that, my queen. And whether that’s here in a palace or in Kroydon Hills with your family, you will always be my queen.”
“I love you, Rhys.” I lift my face and press my lips to his. “What are we supposed to do now?”
“Now, we wait.”
“Do you guys have clothes on under there?” Atticus questions from the balcony door as he looks at us, unamused.
I’m curled up against Rhys’s chest, with the blanket wrapped around us both, trying to enjoy what’s probably our last few hours of peace before the storm of the century blankets us all.
“Really, brother?” Rhys holds me tighter, like he’s scared to let go.
We both are.
“Well, you have done stranger things today,” Atticus’s normally playful voice sounds exhausted and not at all like him as he moves deeper onto the porch and leans back against the balusters. “I wanted to see how you were doing.”
Even with his world spinning out, he’s still here.
They’re still a united front.
“We’ll be okay, brother. All of us. Have they gotten a vote?” Rhys’s voice is calm and strong, which makes me think maybe there’s a chance we’ll all come out of this unscathed.
I wish it wasn’t a false hope.
“How can you be so sure?” I ask softly as tears pool in my eyes.
I don’t want to know if the vote is in because I don’t want to see the look in his eyes if he loses all of this because of me.
“Atticus has slept with half of Parliament, my love. I’m banking on the fact that they won’t want him on the throne,” he scoffs, and my mind spins.
“I refuse to put wrinkly balls in my mouth, you prick. I’ve only fucked two of them.”
“Oh my God,” I groan, frustrated with them both. “How can you joke right now?”
