Page 83 of One More Chance
I heard a soft creak behind me and I froze.
Sloane stood in the doorway, her robe wrapped around her, one hand resting on the frame, watching me like she could see into the depths of my secrets.
“You okay?” she asked, her voice quiet.
I nodded too quickly. “Yeah. Just… writing. Trying to get it all out of my head.”
She stepped closer, but didn’t look at the journal.
“That’s good,” she said, her voice weary, "Do you want to talk about it?"
“Yes. I’m scared,” I admitted.
She tilted her head, watching me carefully. “Of what?”
“That I’ll ruin this again,” I whispered, my throat tightening. “That I’ll lose you. That someone better… someone like Charlie will take my place and do it right.”
Her expression shifted then, a flicker of softness breaking through the guarded mask she wore so often. “I’m not looking for someone better,” she said. “I’m looking for someone honest. Someone who doesn’t make me feel alone in my own house.”
My throat tightened, and I felt the sting of tears I refused to let fall. “And if that’s not me?”
She shrugged, the movement small but deliberate. Her eyes never left mine as she found the courage to say what she needed, even if the words threatened to tear us apart. “Then I’ll survive. But it’s my choice, Levi. I can choose to be with you, or I can choose to be alone, or I can choose to explore what I have with Charlie.”
Fuck me. She said "have" not "could have" or "might have."
"So there is something there."
Sloane shrugged, "Maybe? He gave me his number recently. We laugh and work well together. But it's not as if I've moved on, Levi."
I closed my eyes for a few seconds, tasting the bitterness of regret and hope tangled together. “I know. I want to respect your decision and give you freedom. I have no right to say anything else after all I've put you through.”
Her lips curved into a small, genuine smile. “No, you really don’t,” she said, “but honestly? I am proud of you for accepting that.”
I managed a weak, crooked smile. “Well, if you do decide to explore what you have with Charlie, at least promise me you’ll ask if he’s good at taking out the trash. Because, I was always way better at that than I gave myself credit for.”
She laughed. “Is that your big selling point? Trash duty?”
“Hey,” I said, grinning despite how rotten I felt, “it’s the little things that keep a marriage alive, right? Plus, I make a killer gluten free grilled cheese. Can Charlie do that?”
She rolled her eyes but there was a warmth in her gaze. “No one makes a grilled cheese like you, Levi.”
“Okay, I’ll take that. Grilled cheese and trash disposal. I am such a fucking catch.”
She shook her head, still smiling. “You’re impossible.”
“But you love me anyway.”
"I do… and sometimes that's hard for me to admit." She sighed. "I'm going to bed. Try to rest, okay?"
I nodded, swallowing the lump in my throat. “Sure. Go get some sleep. I love you.” The words jerked out, like a reflex.
She paused in the doorway, a flicker of surprise in her eyes before her smile widened ever so slightly and softened her features. “I love you, too. Good night, Levi.”
She turned and left me sitting there, alone in the doorway of my own mess.
Chapter 28
Sleep came for me quickly and, for the first time in a long time, nightmares did not plague me. The soreness throughout my body from the spiking then falling adrenaline, the emotional whiplash that left me raw, led to slumber's firm grip.
