Page 66 of One More Chance
She made her way over to the table next to me. "Thank you for handling the kids tonight.”
"Don't mention it. We had a blast." I saw the lines etched across her face, the worry, the uncertainty. "Are you okay?"
She didn’t answer right away. She let out a shaky breath and shook her head. “No. Not really.” Her laugh was brittle. “Everything going on… it’s too much. The kids I'm sure were anxious, there's no word on how long school is going to be virtual, and-” She cut herself off, lips pressing into a line. “I still can’t believe everything the president said.”
I felt it then, the truth itching at the back of my throat.
If only you knew how bad this is about to get, my love.
I wanted to tell her everything. How I wanted to not only unburden the part of me that was hiding this unbelievable secret, but also to tell her what I knew about this pandemic.
But I couldn’t.
I took her hand in mine and said, “Listen… we need to talk.”
I felt her flinch, as if she were about to snatch her hand away. She stopped herself and instead went stiff. “The last time you said that, you left. What is it?”
I glanced toward the hallway and listened for any sounds of the kids coming downstairs. I wanted to ensure they weren’t within earshot. Rufus was already laying in his lumpy old bed after he'd tucked Violet in earlier.
“It’s about Angie,” I said.
Sloane's entire body went rigid and I could have sworn I heard her teeth clench. “What now?”
“The detective in charge of the case, Detective Harlan, called me tonight. They have enough. They’re moving forward with a warrant.”
She didn’t say anything, just sat there, blinking slowly while she processed.
“They linked the notes, my call logs, our security footage, the sightings from neighbor's cameras,” I continued. “She’s been watching the house. Closely. Maybe even tonight.”
Sloane pulled her hand out of mine and rested it lightly on her stomach. “Levi, why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
I dropped my gaze. “I was trying to protect you. I didn’t want to bring her name into our home, into our lives… again. I didn’t want her to taint what we’ve been rebuilding.”
She was silent, but her breathing had gotten quicker, shallower. I could see her anxiety stirring under the surface.
“I should’ve told you,” I said. “I know that and I’m sorry. I was wrong. I knew you were handling-”
“You don’t get to decide what I can handle, Levi.” Her voice was tight, fury building, her eyes shining.
“I know.”
Her next words were like a hammer striking an anvil. “I am pregnant. Our children are in this house. She is your responsibility. This is your fault.”
This is your fault, big guy… you fucking idiot.
“I know, Sloane. I do know all of that and I hate myself for it.”
Sloane pressed the heels of her palms to her eyes. “Goddammit, I thought the worst was behind us.”
I reached for her, slowly, palms up. Her anger caused my words to gush out in a rush. “I know, so did I, and I am so sorry it's not. This has been eating at me, the stress and the guilt of it, I’ve even been keeping a journal every night, trying to work through it all." I took a deep breath then before I elaborated. "My nightmares, my panic attacks, fear of losing you, of losing the baby. I am trying to keep my head above it, but I feel like I'm drowning.”
She dropped her hands and met my gaze. “Nightmares? Panic attacks? Levi, why wouldn't you tell-" She took a deep breath and checked her rising anger. "Why would you keep something like that from me?”
“I wasn't hiding it. Not exactly,” I said. “I didn’t tell you fast enough.”
Her laugh was short and sharp. “That’s not better.”
“I know.” I reached out for her hand again and she took mine. “I didn’t want to burden you, Sloane. You already have so much… too much. I didn't want you to see it as a sign that I couldn't handle being here, being your partner."
