Page 5 of One More Chance
She filled her cup with coffee, her hands steady but her eyes hollow. "Talk?" She scoffed, the word sour in her mouth. "What the hell is there left to talk about, Levi?"
Well fuck, here goes."I want to get back together."
I knew the words were a death sentence as soon as I said them. I'd hardly finished the sentence before the coffee mug slipped from her hand and shattered on the floor, the sound of it exploding the silence like a gunshot. Hot coffee and ceramic shards flew everywhere.
“Fuck Sloane. Are you okay?” I rushed towards her.
She stepped back. Her breath caught as her face contorted with a flash of pain so raw I felt it tearing through me. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came; only the silence of hurt and loss. Fuck. I had done this to her.
I took a tentative step away, as if backing up from a wounded animal, and collapsed onto the stool. My hands shook as I gripped the edge of the counter. My next words spilled out of me. "I'm sorry, Sloane. I'm so fucking sorry..." Hollow words falling out of a broken shell.
Her face twisted, the tears in her eyes shimmering but they didn't fall. Instead, fury replaced the hurt, blackening her eyes and even as the anger colored her face, I couldn't stop myself from admiring her like a lovesick fool.
Her voice broke me from my trance. "Don't you dare apologize to me now, Levi," she spat, each word sharp. "Not after everything you've done. Not after the lies, the fucking betrayal, the disrespect, everything you've dragged me through these last few days. You think a sorry can fix any of that?"
She was trembling now, her voice breaking between anger and agony, but she didn't stop. Her eyes never left me as she pulled from the deep abyss of her hurt. "You destroyed me, and now you want to come back like nothing ever happened? You don't get to walk back into my life like that. Not when you're the one who fucked it all up."
Tears streamed down her face and I felt my heart splinter. Instinctively, I reached for her, my hand only brushing air. "I want to-"
"It's always you, you, you, Levi!" Her voice rose, boiling over like a storm that had been waiting to break, "What about what I want?" She was unraveling in front of me, the woman I adored and cherished, spiraling into a whirlwind of anger and pain because of my choices... and nothing I said could help her hurt.
"Sloane, I'm begging you."
Her breathing was ragged, her chest heaving with the weight of it all as she seethed. "I don't give afuckif you crawl on your hands and knees begging me to take you back, Levi."
Each word stabbed me in the gut, every syllable cutting deeper.
And yet, somewhere in the back of my twisted, traitorous brain, I imagined myself in a collar, on a leash. Because, apparently, pain only made me want her more.
"Do you have any idea what I've had to deal with? The tears? The anger from the kids? I've had to fucking protect them from this mess you created, while you..." Her voice faltered, but the rage was still there burning in her eyes. "While you fucked around like it was some game with that dipshit gym rat."
I couldn't speak. Couldn't find the words to defend myself, because what was left to say? She was right, and the weight of her fury crushed me.
Despite all this, seeing her in this little ball of rage and hearing her rip into me drove me wild with desire. I started to wonder if I'd had a kink for degradation that I'd never known about, or if it was just her presence stoking that heat within me.
Before I could respond, the sound of car doors slamming outside cut through the tension, jolting us both. Sloane froze, panic flickering across her tear-streaked face. Her eyes darted toward the door leadingto the mudroom, and before she could say anything, I moved quickly from the stool, my limbs stiff with the need tofixsomething, anything.
I reached for her then, gently pulling her toward me, but she flinched away, her eyes burning with contempt.
"Levi...why?"
I grimaced, a bitter knot forming in my throat. "Sloane, we need to talk. I promise I'm hearing you." Years of therapy kicked in as I tried to salvage something. "I'll handle the kids. Go wash your face. Get dressed. You need a minute."
She shook her head, disbelief seeping into every inch of her. "I can't," she hissed. "You have no patience for them. You never have." My grip on her tightened as she tried to pull away. "And don't tell me what I need. You can't waltz in here looking good and expect me to fawn over your every word."
So she had checked me out. A small cheer went off as I changed tactics.
I grasped her hand gently, almost pleading with my eyes as desperation crept into my voice. "I'm not trying to tell you anything but do you want the kids to see us like this? Sloane, I need you to be logical, for a second."
I took a chance, my face a desperate plea of puppy dog eyes despite the rising fear that she might kick me in the balls or rip my face off. Both of which might make me come at this point from a sadistic game of edging I seemed to be playing with myself indiscriminately. Fuck who knows.
Her eyes bore into mine as my truth filled the space between us. I pushed a little more, ignoring the warmth of her body and the smell of her titillating my senses. "I'll have patience, Sloane. I promise. Forthem. For you. For all of it." I kissed her fingertips, my chest tightening with each soft touch.
She recoiled from me then, her body stiffening as she pulled out of reach. Violet and Liam's voices were closer.
I nodded towards our room. "Please Sloane. I am begging now. I'll even bark if you need me too."
Those words hung between us. She looked away towards where the kids were set to appear and I knew she was calculating in her head if this was a smart thing to do despite how desperately I needed her to trust me.Please Sloane.
