Page 132 of Unbound

Tommy and Tia moved out of the place a few doors from Pop’s a few months after Carina was born. Tommy had a new house built a few streets over from Tia’s foster parents and not far from the foster-grandparents, so Tia could be there to help them on a regular basis.

We all regularly go up to Tommy and Tia’s farm in the summers. They’ve built an addition onto the farmhouse and Tommy bought Tia and Carina horses on Carina’s first birthday.They’re taken care of by a farm down the road and brought over when the Ferranos spend a weekend there. Angel can’t get enough of it and is always lookin’ for an invite up there, so she can ride. Maybe I’ll have to get her a horse for her next birthday…

It’ll be ages before baby Carina can ride on her own, she’s as cute as a button, looking just like Tia but with Tommy’s eyes. Tommy doesn’t care she’s not old enough to ride a horse. She lights up at the sight of it and that’s enough for him.

I joked that he’ll buy her a car for her fifth birthday, but he didn’t see the humor and said his little princess wouldn’t drive, he’d have her chauffeured everywhere, with six bodyguards that’d double as pallbearers for anyone that dared speak to his daughter. That got an eyeroll from Tia. But my brother? Not even joking.

I feel the same way and am glad my baby daughter has two big brothers to watch out for her the way me and Tommy have watched out for Tess and Luciana.

What about Holly and Alessandro?

He came back for her a few months after she came to stay with us. They got married but it was not smooth sailing immediately after their wedding.

But, that’s a long story. It was one fuckuva bumpy road.

Three months after Holly came to stay, Dare flew us to Alaska on one of his first solo flights for a quick trip and we tried to talk to our mother. That was painful for Holly.

I never really knew Felicia when she was a nurturing and loving mother, so I didn’t feel the loss the way my sister did. I went along mostly to be there for Holly.

Felicia wants to be where she is. Her life could be different. Holly told her we could get her into rehab, that she could come live with us. She turned us down.

I’ve closed that chapter. Like Tia, like Dare and Tommy, I know that just because you have a parent doesn’t mean that parent is going to do right by you. It’s okay. We’ll do better with our own kids.

I lost a lot of sleep over Holly when she and Alessandro first got married. A lot. But things have a way of working themselves out.

My Master, my Dare, he really has helped all my dreams come true. I’m free. A to B and then X to Y took me all the way to Z.

Speaking of which, we got a big fat rescue cat I named Zee. He’s a purr machine that I rescued from a shelter. When we got him, he was frightened and timid but bit by bit, he began showing his personality to us. I think me and Z are kindred spirits.

I’ve got my sister in my life. I’ve got Dare’s babies. I’m busy but so very happy. After being broken over nineteen days, I stopped hoping to be rescued, but I didn’t give up. I put my plan in motion and my plan got me out of there.

Never give up, no matter how bad things seem.

Behind the scenes, I help Lisa out a little bit with the foundation she started to help rescued victims of human trafficking move on with their lives.

I can’t put our family at risk by being out in the open about my efforts against the world of sex slavery, but I’ve helped Lisa wherever I can administratively, and Dare sends her foundation a fat donation every year.

Life is good. It’s filled with fried spaghetti and fried spaghetti messes on little chubby faces, sports on TV and games that we go to with our triple stroller. When the babies are a few years old, I want to adopt another baby or two. Or they don’t even have to be babies. I just want to have a big loving family, like the one I’m now a part of. I want to give that love to someone who maybe didn’t think they’d ever have it; the way it was so generously given to me.

I can’t wait to put the kids in sports. For Dare to coach them. He can’t wait either, but for now, we’re enjoying the messy blur of baby days.

Dare’s the best daddy in the whole wide world, and I have a good life. I’ve been quietly in touch with Charlie and Betsy and they’re coming for Christmas.

Maybe next year, I’ll sneak out to the old farm, which they’re happy to continue to take care of. I’m signing it over to them for a Christmas surprise. It’ll come back to my kids some day when they are no longer.

I’m so grateful.

Oh yeah, when I gave birth, they took my collar at the hospital. I didn’t even mind. I haven’t worn a necklace at all in about six months. It’s just not practical with my three grabby-hands babies. I also haven’t flat-ironed my hair since I left Kruna before it was engulfed in a ball of flames. I may never wear a necklace or have straight hair again. And for that, I’m ecstatic.

Laying there with my girls, all was right in the world.

Tia falling asleep with happy tears on my chest when Carina was two weeks old after how that first night together ended? A dream come true. My girl on my right, my daughter on my left; I was a lucky fuck.

The thing about men like me? We do bad things sometimes. I can’t speak for everyone but for some of us, it’s partly because we were bred that way and partly because we need to do it to survive.

But, when the right girl comes along, she’ll be someone who overlooks some of a guy’s flaws without letting him walk all over her. She’s the one because she gives him something he can’t get anywhere else.

By giving him her love, she’ll slay some of his demons. She’ll get to see what’s underneath, what he doesn’t let the rest of the world see. Maybe once she sees what’s underneath, she’ll decide he’s worth overlooking some of his flaws, rough though they can be. And he’ll see that and try to be better. For her.

And if he’s a guy like me? What she gives him will make him think that maybe, despite the fact that there are blemishes on his soul, that he’s somehow escaped karma or been deemed worthy of love.

Guys like that will do what needs to be done to keep her safe, even if that means we aren’t always the good guy, even if it means more black marks on our souls.

And even if we’ll never be the white-hat wearing hero, the right girl will make a man, no matter how dark he can sometimes get, try to be better than he was. He’ll be better for her and because of her.

The End