Page 60 of The Cold Ride

I found them in the kitchen. Rory was at the kitchen island with a crock pot of what smelled like chili. Amelia was at the table doing homework. But the moment I entered, her head shot up and she grinned.

“Dad!” Amelia exclaimed, jumping up from her seat and racing over to me. There were tears in her eyes.

I knelt and hugged her tight, my heart mending from all the mistakes. Then I held her and stared her in the eyes. “I’m sorry for leaving, squirt. I love you. Don’t you ever think that you’re not good enough for me. You are the best girl a father could ask for. It’s me who doesn’t deserve you. I’m incredibly proud and humbled to be your dad. But could you give me and your mom a few minutes? We need to talk.”

I glanced over Amelia’s shoulder at Rory. She stood rigidly beside the kitchen island. And there were tears in her eyes. If she forgave me, I would spend every day the rest of our lives atoning for the pain I caused her.

“Sure. But you’re not going to leave again?” Amelia asked with a dose of fear, like she expected me to disappear at any moment.

It pained me, her doubt. And I would work to earn her forgiveness and reinstall trust. “Not yet. But I will have to report back to base at the end of next week. And I have to go, sweetheart. But I will always come back here for you.”

The smile she gifted me stole the breath from my lungs. “Since they already called off school tomorrow, do you want to watch a movie tonight?”

Her resiliency gave me hope. “I’d love to watch a movie. Whatever you want to watch, I’m game.”

“I love you, Dad.” Amelia hugged me again before heading into the living room.

Once it was just the two of us, I strode over to Rory. She had her arms wrapped tightly around her midsection. I cupped her gorgeous face in my hands. “I’m sorry. I should have listened to you back then. If I had, maybe you would have felt more confident in telling me about Amelia. We both were wrong back then. And I’m sorry for everything I said last night and walking away.”

“Why are you here, James?” Her voice trembled. Moisture rimmed her lashes. I wanted to take all her tears away.

And I held nothing back. “I need to explain a couple things. Back then, I had to hate you. Because it was better than hating myself. Because that night, after you ran from me, I found you at the beach party. Evan had his arm around your shoulders. And when you saw me, you turned into him and turned your back on me. But I crossed the line in wanting you to choose me over him. I died a little that day because I knew you were it for me. And I knew loving you wasn’t a choice for me. I was sunk the moment I laid eyes on you. But you turned away.”

She cried, shoving against me, but I wouldn’t let her go. “Because I was ashamed, James. Not because I had been with you that night, but because I knew the moment you kissed me how big of a mistake I made marrying Evan. And I knew with perfect clarity that I would regret not choosing you. But if I did that, it would have caused a rift between you. And then one of you wouldn’t have come home. And it was you I couldn’t lose, James. Because even if I couldn’t have you in my life, just knowing you were alive was enough for me.”

The clouds parted, and I was sure I heard choirs of angels singing. “I’m so fucking sorry for everything. Please forgive me. I love you, Rory. I’m fucking devoted to you. You’re it for me. You’ve always been it for me. There’s no one I’d rather spend forever with than you. And I want it all with you. No more half-measures from either of us. I want to marry you, Rory. And I want more babies with you.”

“You want to marry me?”

And I spied the glimmer of warmth in her eyes and smiled. “Yep. If I could, I would take you before a justice of the peace right here and now if you say yes.”

“I need you to understand, James, that I don’t regret marrying Evan. Because he brought me to you. Without him, we never would have met.”

And she was right. “I know. God, I loved that bastard. But I think he knew we would work it out, or he never would have put that letter in with yours for me.” I wiped the tears off her cheeks. “So what’s it going to be? Are you going to marry me?”

“James, I’ve loved you from the first and knew you were it for me then. Of course, I’ll marry you. Welcome home.”

Home.Shewas my home. My heart and soul beat for her now. Overcome with my love for her, I kissed her. How could I not? This woman was my reason for existing. The career I loved, everything took a back seat to the woman in my arms. It had been a long, cold road lined with heartache to get here.

But I would never let her go again. This time, it was forever. I would never take the love we shared for granted. Not after coming so close to losing her for good.

She was my lighthouse in port. The one guiding me safely back into her arms. And I had finally found my way home.

EPILOGUE

9 Years Later

The school auditorium was full of proud parents and families as we watched our Amelia rise and walk to the podium to give the Valedictorian speech at her high school graduation ceremony. I couldn’t be prouder of our firstborn. She was attending Brown University in the fall on a full academic scholarship where she planned to study mathematics.

I looked over the head of our four boys and caught my Rory with tears in her eyes.

She married me before I had to report back to base all those years ago. We had a simple wedding at the local courthouse, with Amelia, her best friend from school, and her parents in attendance as our witnesses. I hadn’t wanted to leave without Rory being my wife. It was one of the best days of my life, the day they officially became my girls.

But Rory—god I love that woman—she married me a second time on the beach in a sunset wedding. It was the same beach where we first met. Where Amelia had been conceived.

When I returned from my final deployment, Rory, Amelia, and baby Henry had been there to welcome me home. And I left the only career I’d known for a life of domesticity that I slid into with relative ease. There were a few bumps and upsets along the way, but such was life.

But god, it’s been a ride. One I would do a thousand times over.

Our two-year-old, Evan, laid his head on my shoulder.

It took me longer than I wanted to admit to fully move past everything in that letter. Because the truth was, I was furious with myself. If I’d taken my head out of my ass sooner, Rory, Amelia, and I wouldn’t have missed out on all those years.

And we had Evan to thank for putting us back together, and in his way, give us his blessing.

But staring at my wife, the love I have for her had only grown and deepened over the years. I used to think my life would be nothing but a dogfight all the way to the end. But coming here led me to finding my purpose.

Loving Rory. And the life we built together.

Even if I had to live a hundred lifetimes until she could be mine, she would still be worth the wait.