Page 55 of One Time Only (One Time Only 1)
Does he think that’s the issue?
Is that how far apart we are? Maybe so. He’s a celebrity, and I’m a regular joe. I’m not thinking about getting fired. I’m thinking about the respect I want from my goddamn colleagues.
I let go of my nose, lift my chin, and stare him in the eyes. “That’s not the point,” I say, my tone rising, my frustration hitting a new pitch, right alongside my guilt. I stab my chest with my finger. “This is not how I want to behave with my coworkers. I respect Cruz. I like Cruz. And I need to do my job. Part of my job is telling him when my shift is over. So he can do his job.”
Stone nods, absorbing my outburst. “What happened last time, then?”
“Last time?” I repeat. My brain is a circus right now, and I can’t see straight, let alone think straight.
“Yes, last time. With the pizza.” He makes a rolling gesture with his hand like he’s jogging my memory.
And, well, he is.
Because last time, Stone and I agreed to tell Cruz we got a pizza.
“What happened last time was . . .” A laugh threatens to escape me.
Stone arches a brow. “Something funny?”
“Nothing happened,” I admit with a shrug. “I told him we got pizza. He just rolled his eyes and said, ‘Go get some sleep.’”
Stone looks like he’s fighting like hell to suppress a grin.
My lips twitch too, but then reality kicks me in the teeth again. “But that was once. I got away with it one time. I don’t want to lie a second time. And I also don’t want to tell him the truth.”
Because, dammit, tonight was supposed to be between Stone and me.
I want my private life to be just that.
Private.
But then, I suppose I gave up that right when I decided to stick my dick in a celebrity who’s also my boss.
What the hell have I gotten myself into?
Stone squeezes my bicep, still trying to ease my mind. “Let me talk to him. I’ll tell him we were hanging out.”
I stare at him like he’s insane, then gesture wildly to the state of him. His chest is glistening with sweat. His hair is sticking up in all directions. His lips are bruised. “You look like you’ve just been fucked to within an inch of your life.”
He smiles, proud and dirty. “And I have. And that means that he’s going to know you’re the one who put this look on my face.”
A shudder runs down my body, even as I try to fight it. “Yeah. I did. But that doesn’t solve the problem,” I say, desperation coloring my tone again.
“But seriously. Why can’t we just be hanging out?”
“Gee. I don’t know. Because it’s obvious that we weren’t hanging out. And because I shouldn’t be doing this.” I grab at my hair, tugging it. “I don’t want to be that guy. They’re going to think that you’ll do favors for me now or something.” I sigh heavily. “I just want to do my job.”
Stone narrows his eyes. “I know, but we’re past that, man. We’re past the whole ‘I want to do my job’ part of . . .” He points from him to me and back. “Whatever this is. So let me help you solve this problem. We’ve got to get through whatever this is.”
His eyes are intense. He’s pissed. Pissed at me. And hell, I’m pissed at me too. So pissed I don’t know what to say.
I stare at the ceiling like an answer is going to fall out of the plaster. “I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to do something I shouldn’t be doing,” I say helplessly.
And I hate that feeling.
I hate feeling helpless.
But Stone has something to say. “Look. If you’re telling me that it’s easier for you to walk out right now and leave, and that this is the last time something is going to happen between us, then fine. You can leave.” Those words, in that tone, cut. I’m pretty sure they’re meant to. His eyes stay locked on mine. “I’ll pretend that I didn’t just have the best sex of my life with a man I want badly. A man I care about. And when I see you tomorrow, I will act like it never happened. Because you know what, J?”
The intensity in his voice sends chills down my spine. “What?”
He taps his chest. “I can perform. I can pretend. So, tomorrow I’ll be normal with you, and we’ll move on. Like I didn’t want this to happen again. Like I don’t want you to spend the night. Like I won’t want you tomorrow too. Like it will never happen again.”
He’s both passionate and pissed at once. All that emotion stitched in his voice makes me feel like he is about to get onstage and pour his heart out. This is how he gets when he’s deeply moved by music, by listening to it, by making it.
