Page 125 of The Never List
He’sworking.
Another pit opens up in my stomach. I’m not sure if this is any better than when I thought he was here paying for entertainment from a woman who isn’t me.
Either way, he’s notwithme.
It’s his month, and he’d rather work than see me.
Is that how this entire month is going to play out? Him ignoring me? Does he think that will inspire me to want to risk my life for him by completing the Athanry? Because from where I’m standing, he’s not giving me much to go on in the way of faith.
I take another deep breath.
I came here for a reason, and I’m not going to let this uncertainty stop me.
Steeling my nerves, I dig deep to find that confident woman I was when I first walked into Lust. I straighten and resolve myself on the fact that if I want Jax to be mine—really,trulymine—then I certainly can’t cower behind a pillar and hide all night. He’s the Nightmare, for goddesses’ sake. I need to match that energy, and more than that, I want to.
I channel all the confidence I can before I press my hand against the glass door and push it open. Sultry music floods my senses right along with Jax’s leather-and-smoke smell. Goddess, his indigo eyes dart to mine with the barest hint of shock before he slams a wall over his reactions.
That makes two of us, because I’m focusing on feeling confident and sexy as fuck, ensuring I bury any insecure emotions so he can’t sense them.
The woman arches a brow at me. “Did you want to see me with another woman?” she asks Jax, calm and professional.
His thighs flex as he shifts in his seat, eyes darting between the woman on the mini platform in the center of the room and me. There is a hint of excitement in his gaze that makes butterflies take flight in my stomach.
“No.” He shakes his head before motioning to me. “I’msure my potential mate here just needs a word with me.”
The woman gasps, immediately hopping off the platform and bowing to me. I feel awkward in my own skin but try to nod politely at her.
Jax’s sardonic laugh fills the room, and the woman visibly blanches at the sound. I take in her genuine terror at the laugh that makes me slick between my thighs. Curious. Maybe I’m as broken as he is, but I don’t fucking care. I’m done fighting it.
“I’ve seen enough,” he continues, the tone of his voice drenched in annoyance, as if my showing up has thoroughly ruined his plans for the evening.
The thought makes a lump form in my throat.
Maybe this was a stupid idea.
The woman bends even lower at the waist toward him before hurrying out of the room.
The music is still playing, but it’s not as loud as it was on the main level. This room isn’t only for dancing and drinking but watching, talking, bonding.
Jax hasn’t moved an inch, still sitting in that confident pose, the parchment forgotten as his arms stretch along the back of the cushioned seat, his thighs spread wide. Every instinct in my body is begging me to step between his legs and drop to my knees before him. I’m at his mercy, and he isn’t giving me an inch.
“Are you here for a job, little liar?” he asks, his tone low and raw. Goddess, his voice crackles over my skin like lightning, jerking my entire body awake.
“If that’s what it takes to get your attention,” I say, cocking an eyebrow at him before I spin around and hop onto the stage in a fluid movement that makes me want tocelebrate. Or, rather, thank my sister for helping me with core balance and strength training in our spare time. She always said those were the keys to her being able to get in and out of a room unnoticed, but right now, Iwanthim to watch me.
I only allow myself a second of self-doubt as I wrap my fingers around the pole and start to move. I watched the other women enough to get the gist of it, but outside of dancing with Ivy and Layce on the rare occasions we snuck into a club, I have zero experience in this department.
“You know, I get how much you hate liars,” I say while I move, forcing myself to maintain the courage I’m clinging to. “But have you ever stopped to think there might be a good reason behind it?”
Jax grunts by way of response.
“Of course not,” I say, swaying my hips. “Easier to just believe the worst about people, right?”
Indigo eyes zero in on me, and the music magically filtering into the room switches to a new song. Nothing is ever easy with him, and I suppose if I’m being honest, I wouldn’t want him any other way. I rock to the pulsing beat, losing myself to the sensations of the melody rippling over my skin while I use the pole to leverage my body, grinding against it the same way I would his body if he let me in.
It helps that Jax doesn’t take his eyes off me, not for one second. I feel them on my skin like a caress, and before long, the music doesn’t really matter; I’m dancing and gliding my hands over my body in teasing touches that I desperately wish were his.
Soon, I’m so wound tight from him watching me that I feel like I might burst if he doesn’t say something. I cansee desire churning in those dark eyes, but he barely gives anything else away, sitting there in the power spot like he is.
