Page 81 of The Never List
“I love it,” I say, striding across the room and through the balcony doors, leaning against the sandstone railing to watch the sunset. Kal settles in on my left, and relief at the loss of the Occuli unravels some tension in me. The pair of conjurers is no doubt lingering outside in that unmoving way they do.
This is as much a dream as the Ruby Aire was, and I still have two more cities to explore. My heart jolts a little at the idea of entering the Obsidian City, but with how Jax treats me lately, he may not invite me in the end. Something about that makes me feel hollow in a way I have no right to be—I barely know him well enough to feel sad over his lack of attention.
I barely know Axl, either, but itfeelslike we’ve known each other a long time. Longer than the month it’s been, longer than the few times we met as a group in the Ruby Aire. I don’t know how to explain it, but I’ve barely beenable to explain a thing since the night of the Choosing. Why start getting caught up in logistics now?
Axl follows us out, leaning his back against the railing to my right so he can look down at me.
Goddess, he looks amazing like that, the sun setting on the ocean behind him, the slight salty breeze blowing through his long black hair. Desire becomes a tangible thing in my core, burning my previous thoughts to ash.
“What do you want, kitten?” Axl asks, his voice all low and rough in a way that makes it sound like the salt from the ocean has rubbed his vocal cords raw over the years.
My pulse skitters, the possibilities racing through my mind.
“For the wager,” he continues, and I blow out a breath.
Right. The wager. Of course.
Reality sinks over me like a lead weight, the panic from Baydel’s vague threats cracking open in my chest. I’d wanted to tell Kal about Erin, but how could I reveal my biggest weakness to someone I wasn’t sure would accept me for who I was in the end?
It doesn’t matter anymore.
Kal hadn’t scolded me for keeping my sister a secret this morning on our ride over to the Sapphire Cove, so I highly doubt he or Axl would have intentions to do so now.
Either way, Baydel had made the choice for me. Axl and his playfulness have given me the shot I need at getting information without having to beg. Still, it’s hard to work the request out of my mouth, my heart begging me to not expose myself in such a way.
Axl turns toward me, grazing a hand along my jaw, tipping my head to meet his eyes. “It can’t be that bad,kitten. Tell me.”
His golden eyes almost look worried, but I take a breath, then finally speak. “I have a sister,” I say, and his eyebrows rise as I shift so I can face both him and Kal.
“I’d love to meet her,” Axl says.
Kal gives me an encouraging smile.
I huff out a laugh, wondering for the first time what Erin would make of him, of Kal and Pierce and Jax. I wonder if she’d think we were a good fit—
What am I thinking? Of course we’re not a good fit. I’m a demi, an Ashlander—two of the things they loathe most.
“I wish you could,” I say and actually mean it. “I wish both of you could.” Despite the risks, the consequences, I’d rather Erin be here with me than not. “But she disappeared a little over a year ago.”
Kal tilts his head, reaching down to squeeze my hand while Axl slides his arms around me, tucking me closer against him. “What happened?”
“I never knew,” I answer. “UntilBaydelbrought her up.” I grind out his name. “He said she volunteered for a Never List mission.” I look to Kal. “Last night, at dinner.” I can’t tell either of them the reasons I don’t believe it’s true…that I saw the list and didn’t find her name, that other parts of the records Baydel read weren’t true.
A muscle in Axl’s jaw ticks. “Okay, and what you want is…”
“I’d love to know where my sister is,” I say, emotion clogging my throat. “I’m not sure if Baydel was telling the truth,” I hedge, looking at Kal. “I saw something in the Ruby Aire—a painting I know my sister did.”
“The cat painting,” Kal says, clarity dawning in his eyes.“That’s why you asked so much about it.”
I nod. “You said it’d been painted in the last six months,” I continue, looking to Axl. “I don’t know how she could’ve painted that if she’s been on a Never List mission. Either way, just knowing she’s safe would mean everything to me.” I swallow hard. “I wasn’t ridiculous enough to ask Baydel…especially after the execution. He doesn’t like me very much.”
“It’s good that you didn’t ask him,” Kal says. “You should always come to us. Baydel can be…”
“He lives with a stick up his ass,” Axl finishes for Kal. “I’ll do some research on her whereabouts.”
“Really?” I ask, hopes lifting. “What if Baydel finds out? What if he—”
“Fuck Baydel,” he says, shocking me to my core. It’s rare to hear anyone so blatantly insult a king. “It’s not like me looking into your sister will break any laws. And besides, we made a wager. You won. I never go back on a deal. This is what you want, so this is what you’ll get.”
