Page 137 of The Never List
“You’re a demi,” Kal whispers.
I do nothing to deny it.
“I’m an Ashlander.” I lift my hands, palms up, sending a soft gust of wind just powerful enough to ruffle each of their hair. “And a demi,” I say, revealing the last secret I have, hoping to all the goddesses above that they won’t damn me for it.
42
Rylee
“Come with me,” Jax demands, his voice low and cold.
A pit opens up in my stomach as he silently guides me out of Lust and to his velomage, urging me to climb on after him. I wrap my arms around his middle, taking comfort in the fact that at least he and Pierce know the truth and haven’t fed me to the wolves. Yet.
Axl and Kal haven’t said a word to me since I showed them my power.
And as Jax drives us toward his estate, Axl, Kal, and Pierce following behind us on their own velomages, my worst fears play out in my mind.
What if this really is all part of the Choosing game?
Has my love for these Legends made me so biased that I can’t see the truth? Are they simply giving me whatever I want, treating me this well, so I’ll choose them in the end and they’ll get the power boost they’ve always craved? One that will make them ascend as the rightful kings of Lumathyst?
Maybe that truly is the only reason all of them have been so damn good to me. Even after learning my secret of being an Ashlander and now…
Now they know everything.
And not one of them is saying a fucking word to me.
Maybe they’re afraid that if they react, if they show their disappointment, it will ruin their shot at real power in the end of all this. That all their hard work and time invested into me will be a massive waste.
The doubt tastes like ash in my mouth and weighs heavy on my heart.
By the time Jax pulls into his estate, the rest of the Legends following in behind us, I’m certain I’ll puke any second. Shame threatens to overwhelm me, but I bat the bitch down. I’ve had enough hiding, enough secrets to last me a lifetime, and to be honest, the instant my power left my hands to protect someone I loved, I decided then and there to never let anyone shame me again.
Tough self-talk for someone who doesn’t open her mouth as she follows the Legends of Chaos into the Nightmare’s house. I keep my lips sealed as my pulse skyrockets while Jax leads us down to his basement. Suddenly, the dark living room I found so comforting before has lost all its effect.
Kal and Axl sink onto a black leather couch near the fireplace, and Jax and Pierce take the one across from it. There’s nothing between them but the plush silver rug lining the floor at their feet. I could take the coward’s way out and stomp to my room and lock the door, but I’m just so fucking exhausted. If they’re about to send me packing—or worse—I at least want to get it over with quickly.
I walk confidently between them, standing with my arms folded over my chest, the silver rug beneath my boots. “I can’t help what I am,” I finally say when they all seem content to stare at me. “Any more than you can.”
Kal tilts his head, confusion in his expression.
“Of course not, darling,” Pierce says.
Jax’s eyes are on me, not in a surveying way, but in a hungry way that makes me feel unsteady on my feet. “I silenced you before because it wasn’t safe to discuss, butterfly,” he says, motioning to the room around us. “This is a safe space. No one is listening.”
I close my eyes, thinking back to the Occuli that were no doubt lingering just outside of Lust and the enforcers who were scrambling as they took Turner into their custody. I give myself a second to hope that none of them saw my wind power, then dismiss it. I can’t do anything about that now.
A warm hand reaches for mine—Kal’s; I can tell from the feel—and I open my eyes.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Kal’s words are soft and kind and full of understanding that I don’t deserve.
“What did you think, kitten?” Axl asks when I can’t answer. “That we’d reject you? Imprison you? Don’t you know us better than that?”
My bottom lip trembles, because I can see the hurt on each of their faces, even Jax, who rarely ever shows an ounce of weakness.
Did I think that of them? Honestly? Did I think they’d hurt me, cage me, get rid of me? Has that been keeping me from baring my truths to them even as they bared themselves to me?
I swallow hard, ripping from Kal’s grasp to bury my face in my hands. “I’m an Ashlander,” I blurt through my palms. “I’m a demi. And I can’t change that. Can’t change where or how I was born. In the beginning, I was certain you’d all flay me alive for the truth or at the very least imprison me. So many of my kind have walked that path before.” I suck in asharp breath. “I will not be imprisoned for being born with power I didn’t ask for. And when Jax chose me, I decided I needed you all to fall for me simply to stay alive long enough to not choose you at the ceremony. And now…” I’m unable to hold back my tears.
